See what I did there with the title?  Anyways, despite having done nothing interesting for months, we still find it our civic duty here at AA to keep you updated on Craig James’ neverending campaign for the U.S. Senate in Texas.  (Seriously, is this the longest primary ever, or what?)  The latest developments on the trail have involved an endorsement from Daryl Johnston and… well, nothing else.  However, James has continued to produce campaign videos that scream public access in their polish and appeal.

James’ basic campaign videos have paled in comparison to the flashy ads that rolled out the beginning of the Pony’s political career.  Surprisingly, James went right after former Texas Tech coach Mike Leach calling him a “bully” in one of those videos.  In his most recent ad, James takes a step back from the most controversial moments as a member of the media to highlight his rationale for beginning a career in broadcasting.  This should be good…

James anointing himself as a “spokesperson” for his football teams in high school, at SMU, and the Patriots is laughable.  What does it even mean?  Were the hundreds of athletes who James played with unable to string enough words together to form coherent sentences?

If that wasn’t enough, James then goes on to describe himself an athlete-turned-broadcaster, not just another dumb jock who got paid to talk for a living.  For any unbiased observer, James only held sway at ESPN precisely because he was an ex-jock.  News flash: Craig James was not the sports equivalent of Edward R. Murrow or Walter Cronkite.  He was a back slapper who relied on tired cliches and connections to get by as an analyst.  He then used that influence to turn ESPN reporter Joe Schad into a puppet and helped drive the network’s slanted coverage until Mike Leach was fired.

The rest of the video is just downright silly.  We learn that James taught himself to type after his playing career.  Guess what?  I did the same thing in seventh grade and you don’t see me touting it as a credential for becoming Senator Yoder.  James also talks about drilling himself with countless hours of one-minute commentaries on the latest events in sports to prepare himself as a broadcaster.  That would be quite the treasure trove of material if anyone could ever get their hands on them.  Let’s keep our fingers crossed that those tapes see the light of day before the end of the Texas primary sometime in the Summer of 2035.