Yesterday, ESPN produced this laughable story about one Brett Favre.  A story so preposterous that it defied explanation.  The entire basis for this article is a “source” claiming Brett Favre “would” listen “if” the Bears called him.  Those words in quotes are important.  There are no indications the Bears are actually going to call Brett Favre.  None.  Zero.  In other words, it’s not happening.  In fact, this ridiculous article even goes on to state, “there’s likely little to no interest from the club.”  REALLY!?!?!  The fact that this was even published and then promulgated on ESPN airwaves is embarrassing.  This is not a story, it’s a way for ESPN to feed their Brett Favre addiction.  

Immediately after reading the article I took to Twitter with the story and attached the hashtag #ESPNFavreHeadlines to a tweet @awfulannouncing mocking the ESPN story and their Favre obsession.  Then, a couple more #ESPNFavreHeadlines came in from our Twitter followers.  Suddenly, scores of tweets flooded the AA Twitter inbox with hilarious #ESPNFavreHeadlines and a movement was born.  The hashtag began trending in the United States and then Worldwide.  So of course, the only way to commemorate the occasion is by taking the best mock ESPN Brett Favre headlines and putting them together in one place.  As always, these are Real Tweets from Real People…

ONeal_Matt @awfulannouncing Sources report Favre upgrades cell phone plan to include free pic messaging #ESPNFavreheadlines
moose_bigelow @awfulannouncing Sources say Favre will listen if Huey Lewis releases a new album #EspnFavreHeadlines
DJ_Jeff_Weaver @awfulannouncing According to members of his inner circle, Favre’s jeans are both “real” and “comfortable” #ESPNFavreHeadlines
HughGWreckshin @awfulannouncing According to sources, Favre is surprised it took so long for us to bring him up again for no reason #ESPNFavreHeadlines
FelskeFiles @awfulannouncing Favre says he would supersize his Value Meal if he were to be approached. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
RamsHerd @awfulannouncing Favre wonders what all the fuss was about. Nickelback is great! #ESPNFavreHeadlines
ksmattingly @awfulannouncing Sources say Favre will consider recording A Charlie Brown Christmas if he isn’t at home when it airs. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
BackQuiet @awfulannouncing Brett Favre would sign for package, if approached by FedEx. #ESPNFavreHeadlines

jen2714 #ESPNFavreHeadlines @awfulannouncing “Reports indicate Favre would ‘Have it His Way’ if approached by Burger King.”
dbach22 @awfulannouncing brett favre still wearing wranglers, would listen to offers from fubu and jynco if interested. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
jjbecker111 @awfulannouncing Farve would listen if Jenn Sterger gave him a call. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
CFPtherealOG @awfulannouncing ESPN’s Ed Werder reports Favre has invited him off his lawn inside for Christmas dinner. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
James_Fayleez @awfulannouncing Sources say Favre will cut a fart when he feels gassy. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
CaptTouchback @awfulannouncing Favre Retires From Wranglers, Re-signs With Wranglers, Retires Again and Signs With Levi’s. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
johhnypbrclops @awfulannouncing sources say Favre will listen, but first must stop, then look #ESPNFavreheadlines
dr883 @awfulannouncing Favre would listen if ESPN wanted to blow more sunshine up his ass #espnfavreheadlines 

BooNelly47 @awfulannouncing Favre thinks dos equis got it wrong not naming him most interesting man in the world #ESPNFavreHeadlines
psicher @awfulannouncing Sources: Brett Favre used to cite his in MLA Format #ESPNFavreHeadlines
MDWDFW Source says Favre would throw INT if the season was on the line. #ESPNFavreHeadlines @awfulannouncing
TheBlackerby @awfulannouncing Favre would consider Showcase #1 but needs more info on Showcase #2 before bidding. #ESPNFavreHeadlines #PriceIsRight
Lee_Zy Sources say Favre, in hindsight, would probably ask for the phone number of Jenn Brown instead #ESPNFavreHeadlines @awfulannouncing
rashadalaiyan @awfulannouncing Favre would get his son playing time by fabricating a story about him being locked in a shed. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
mattyzucks @awfulannouncing Sources say that if asked, Favre would agree to iTunes Terms and Conditions #ESPNFavreHeadlines
dcarcass @awfulannouncing ‘Favre Considers Finishing Leftover Milk After Eating Cereal’ #ESPNFavreHeadlines

BlackMagic_5 @awfulannouncing #espnFavreheadlines Brett Favre would be interested in a box of cookies if approached by Girl Scouts.
dekimmel @awfulannouncing Source says Brett Favre still unsure why his name isn’t pronounced “favor.” #ESPNFavreHeadlines
@awfulannouncing#espnFavreheadlines ESPN reports that Favre would listen if his doorbell rings
Hec718 #ESPNFavreHeadlines Sources close to Brett confirm he HAS been Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
ShaggyNScoobyD Breaking News: Brett Favre just burned a piece of toast but sources say he WILL try to make another one #espnfavreheadlines
NOTSportsCenter SOURCES: Brett Favre may consider mowing his lawn tomorrow #ESPNFavreHeadlines

danmccallion Sources are reporting that Brett Favre WOULD listen if a song by the band Chicago came on the radio. #espnfavreheadlines
Don_Lito10 Brett Favre said he will consider using newspaper in case he runs out of toilet paper #ESPNfavreheadlines
JasonOrfao SOURCES: Favre throws laundry into hamper, strengthening arm for possible NFL return. #espnfavreheadlines
SouhanStrib Favre would listen if John Madden told him he loves the game and plays like a little kid. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
IAmJordanWorley REPORT: Sources say Brett Favre would consider being baptized by Tim Tebow if approached. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
FakeWilbon Favre To Sign With Bears. Plans To Take Back Title Of Biggest Douchebag From Suh #espnfavreheadlines

PaulPabst “Favre loses throwing arm in combine accident…still not ruling out comeback” #ESPNFavreHeadlines
Cameron_Gray BREAKING NEWS: Brett Favre breathes in oxygen, and then breathes out carbon dioxide – 3 hour SportsCenter coming up – #ESPNFavreHeadlines
csolomon15 @awfulannouncing Sources say Favre would like to save 15% on his car insurance if contacted by a Gecko. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
MBeller @awfulannouncing Sources say Favre would consider a business venture if contacted by a deposed African prince via email. #ESPNFavreHeadlines
allie_yoder @awfulannouncing Favre reports he would probably use a shakeweight if he got it as a gift. #ESPNFavreHeadlines 
Youfisheyedfool @awfulannouncing Brett would be interested in another inch or two if approached by Photoshop. #ESPNFavreHeadlines

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.