Sorry to fans of terrible, terrible sitcoms, but it looks like Colin Cowherd’s upcoming CBS show based on his life has been rejected by the network.  Apparently the pilot episode of “Herd Mentality” starring Damon Wayans as Colin Cowherd (what, Tom Arnold wasn’t available?) didn’t move the network enough to pick up a full season.  Reaction to AA’s Twitter account seemed to fall somewhere between “There is a God” and “Thank God.”  

Personally, I’m shocked.  I figured a dramatized version of Cowherd’s show focused on dumbed-down interactions of Cowherd with his sexy co-host and less sexy wife would fit CBS’s largest demographic (yes, I’m looking at you viewers of Two And A Half Men!).  But thankfully, it looks like you and I only have to continue to avoid Cowherd on SportsNation and his daily radio show without worrying about an invasion of primetime tv.

Of course, any readers of this site should know our opinion of Cowherd.  His elitism mixed with overly broad stereotypes and disdain for any passionate sports fan living between the East and West coast makes his radio show unbearable for most of the country.  There is no national sports radio talk show host who intentionally speaks to a more narrow audience, and seems to be proud of it.  His borderline racist rant on John Wall earlier this season was at best incredibly naive and at worst a distasteful ploy for attention and ratings.   In short, Cowherd is a perfect example of what’s wrong with today’s sports media, so the rejection of his sitcom should come as a victory to all.

However, hope remains alive for two other ESPN-based sitcoms based on NFL analyst Mark Schlereth (also being developed by CBS) and a pilot for ABC depicting Mike and Mike host Mike Greenberg.  I’m sorry, but could you have picked two more random ESPN personalities to have as the center of a network comedy?  Does anyone want to watch Mark Schlereth sell green chile or Mike Greenberg search for a sanitary toilet?  It makes me think what other past and present ESPN personalities could have made it big with their own tv shows…

Chris Berman vs. Sweat
Follow Chris Berman’s trail of sweat as Boomer chronicles his escapades as, literally, a larger-than-life ESPN personality.  How many towels will Boomer need as he covers the 1st round of the NFL Draft?  What about his detours up north to grab some deux, deux, deuxs.  Watch as Boomer continues his unending search for air conditioning.  Think Man vs. Food, only even smellier!

 Steve Phillips, Ladies’ Man
Steve Phillips knows what it takes to nab that less-than-cute intern while also losing his job.  Learn how to hide your workplace affair from your spouse, at least until your mistress goes batsh*t crazy! With expert analysis on creepy pickup lines from Mike Tirico and multimedia advice from Sean Salisbury!

Useless Stats You Can’t Use With Jayson Stark
What’s Alfonso Soriano’s batting average off of left-handers on Tuesdays when outdoors?  How many fastballs could Josh Beckett throw if Josh Beckett could chuck wood?  What’s the VORP and WAR of Tony LaRussa’s shingles?  Stump even the biggest stat geeks with ESPN MLB writer Jayson Stark!

Law & Order: Bristol, CT
In a small town, everyone knows your name, especially when you work at ESPN.  Catch the drama as high-priced attorneys defend ESPN personalities from charges ranging from domestic abuse to drunk driving to child pornography.

Everybody Hates Skip Bayless
I think this one pretty much explains itself… 

[H/T The Big Lead]

***Update 5/18 (4 PM ET) – It appears that Mark Schlereth’s pilot, Home Game, was not picked up by CBS either according to a Tweet from Schlereth himself.  Mike Greenberg is now the leader’s only sitcom hope… what a world this is in which we live. 

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