James Harrison is going to eat you all alive. Especially if you’re wearing a white uniform in the snow right now.

Kaeding kicks to Gary Russell, who takes it out to the 24. Parker busts out for a first down by cutting to the right and following the block. He then grabs another three on the next carry, but then gets stuffed. Ben rifles his first pass of the half to Holmes thanks to some good pass-blocking. Ben goes deep for Holmes this time — but it’s just beyond his grasp as he lays out for a 60 yard pass. Parker loses a yard on the carry. Ben hits Washington at the Chargers’ 32 for another first down.

Carry for Parker for two yards; checkdown to Davis for no yardage. 3rd and 8 — and Ben finds Heath Miller on the right side, he runs past the marker and heads all the way to the 11. Ben rolls out to his right, hits Miller at the two yard line, Miller leaps….and, TOUCHDOWN, STEELERS! Reed’s kick is up and good, 21-10, Pittsburgh! That drive sucked up a ton of the third quarter.

Darren Sproles breaks off a HUGE return, running through the gap and to the right sideline. 63 yard return, and if the Chargers don’t do anything with this, they’re through.

The pass by Rivers is tipped….it flips up…and it’s INTERCEPTED BY LARRY FOOTE! Suck it, Rivers!

They’re playing Against Me! in a football stadium. Holy hell. I saw that band in a couple of real dingy tiny clubs and now their music is on stadium PAs. Anyway, Norv loses the challenge, like we thought he would, because he’s Norval Eugene Turner. Parker gains four, as Charger defenders yell, “He’s holdin’ the shit outta me!” God bless on-field mics. End around for the first down. Another first down on the rush for Parker….but that’s coming back for a holding penalty on Miller.

Draw play for three yards. Not much. Punt coming, and it bounces off Eric Weddle’s helmet!!! Sadly, it can’t be advanced, but the Bolts are still in even more trouble. Ball at the Chargers’ 22!

Oh, glorious Norv Face in Snow, in HD.

Hines Ward picks up a long first down by getting extra yards after the catch, and this is a late hit on the Bolts to make it first and goal very close. Ward is laughing at Cletus Gordon, too. Parker burrows to the 1 yard line. Ben rolls left and throws it away. 3rd and goal. Russell fights for it, but is short. Third quarter ends. Phil’s calling for the 4th down goal line play.

Carry goes to Davis…and the Chargers stop him short!

Woodley just gave Rivers some suplex action on that play. Phil the Floater throws 2nd down out of bounds. Bolts wind up punting again. Hee.

Apparently anytime the QB is sacked it should be unnecessary roughness according to the announcers. – Zidane Valor

There’s more roughing the passer calls than actually exist in both college and pro. I understand wanting to protect guys who are usually wide open to being hurt, but c’mon, NFL, lighten up. Woodley will probably be fined for that one.

Roethlisberger goes deep for Nate Washington and gets tackled in the end zone. PI on the Chargers, first and goal at the one. Gary Russell steps it into the end zone……TOUCHDOWN, STEELERS! Reed’s kick is good, 28-10.

Generally, I think PI in the NFL ought to be reduced to a spot foul only up to 15 yards. Any more and it’s only a 15 yard penalty.

Down 11 and taking an intentional safety? Nantz and Simms can’t possibly be serious, can they? – Anon
Nantz out-coaches Norv when he suggests the Chargers take the safety on 4th and 20 from their 1. – Mal

That was amazingly stupid as far as a suggestion went. And Phil played the game. He really doesn’t have any excuse for being that dumb. Rivers’ first pass is to Jackson for 8 yards at the 34. Say hello to Brett Kiesel, Philip. Another sack (rubs hands with glee, then cat’s cradles them.) Eeeeexcellent. Rivers then hits Brandon Manumaleuna, who gets a first down because there’s no one in the area at all. Pocket Darren gets another first down on the screen pass.

Looks like LaDamlian will be watching the rest of the playoffs on his Vizio… – James Craven

Another completion to Manumaleuna. Chambers hauls in a 3rd down pass past midfield. This Steelers prevent defense sucks. King Douchebag throws it out of bounds. He then hits Chambers deep, and gets extra yardage thanks to a personal foul call on Troy Polamalu. First and goal at the 4. Rivers hits the quick throw to Legadu Naane for the San Diego touchdown. Kaeding’s kick is good, 28-17.

Ben aims for Nate Washington again and the ball falls incomplete. Rolled over on to the ground. Steelers pick up the first, as Hines Ward makes a nice catch while falling. Parker rushes for two. Parker finds a hole on the outside and makes his way down the sideline for 27 yards. He grabs six more, then Moore follows up with a run to the left for a first down.

“The Chargers have had enough of Big Ben. They’ve seen him three times this year.” – Jim
“Three times?” – Phil
“Yeah, you were there when they saw him in London, the clock tower!” – Jim

Ouch. Anyway, Parker just ran into the end zone for a Steelers touchdown, which ought to put this one on ice. 35-17, Pittsburgh.

Another shot of Rivers on the ground…..oh, it’s so beautiful. And Scifres is punting, admitting it’s a lost cause. Pure Norval. Moore fair catches.

This game is officially over because Byron Leftwich is in now….yawn. So the AFC Championship Game will be a barn-burner of defense; the third match-up between the Ravens and the Steelers this year.

Why is SD punting down 18 with 3:30 to go? Punting gives you zero chance. Who cares what the score is. – BWAlaska

Because Norv Turner is a loser and a wuss.

This has been another edition of Simple Answers to Simple Questions.

Berger punts to Mighty Mouse, who only runs back for four yards before being forced out of bounds.

Why are these guys not pounding the Steelers here at least a bit on clock management? They run out of bounds, they are throwing the ball up 18???? Is Tomlin trying to hit 60 points like Stoops in the Big XII championship game? – Mal

I’d get a bit more riled up about it if the plays were successful. At least his second teamers are on the field.

OK, Tomlin challenging a pass call this late might be a bit on the asshole side. But he might be right.

Sproles gets a stat-padding touchdown for 62 yards. Kaeding’s kick is good, 35-24.

The onside kick is called for offsides on the Steelers, and they’ll re-kick. The kick goes into the arms of Gary Russell, and that is truly game with no time outs left for the Bolts. Knees down, game over, 35-24 Steelers! Bye bye, Norval. Bye bye, Marmalard.

I went 2-2 this weekend pick-wise, if you’re asking or care. I will be out of town next weekend, sadly — so AA will have something ready for you, I’m sure. See you in a couple weeks, guys!