Steelers kicker Jeff Reed feels pretty, witty, and light, and pities any girl who isn’t him tonight. He feels charming and enchanting; it’s alarming how charming he feels.

I would like to chide John for saying “Jag-wires.” Proper pronunciation, John. Steelers take the kickoff out to their 18. Well, Mewelde Moore seems like an admirable fill in — 15 yards on that first carry — and an extra 15 comes from the Jags on an unnecessary roughness penalty. Ben the Glove tosses to Hines Ward, who gets inside the Jags’ 40.

Note to Jacksonville: Don’t make Mewelde Moore look like Walter Payton. – SSReporters

John Henderson sacks the Glove on 2nd down, as the ref calls the grasp rule even though he was throwing….and 3rd down brings Rashean Mathis with a pick 6 for the SCORE!

That was quick. 7-0 Jags after the kick.

“They’ve been a running team ever since Franco Harris” – John

I guess John forgets the Steelers of the early 2000s when they were as pass happy as anyone with Tommy Maddox. You really can’t blame him though, I mean who else besides me actually remembers Tommy Maddox. – JFein

Most Steeler fans have blacked him out. Najeh Davenport returns the kickoff past the 25. After two incompletions, the Glove (who isn’t wearing one, but I prefer calling him that rather than Ben) hits Santonio “John” Holmes for a frist down at the 43. Pittsburgh is barreling through, running with both Moore and Davenport. Moore catches a pass and heads down to the 31.

Another personal foul on the Jags puts the Steelers at the J’ville 15. The Glove hits up Heath Miller at the 3. Another play fake to Miller, and it’s a TOUCHDOWN!

Kick is up and good, 7-7 tie.

John and Al were talking about Jags D-lineman John Henderson, and we can’t talk about John Henderson without this video:

You got to make blood come out of the mouth, people. There was a better, longer version of the same ritual, only done on the road, but the NFL Network pulled it off YouTube.

Maurice Jones-Drew takes the kickoff out to the 20. Taylor drops a screen pass, but then rushes for a yard. David Garrard then hits Matt “White Pony” Jones, whom I am surprised has escaped ridicule as much as he has — dude got caught with coke on his nose and he’s playing! Taylor gets one on the next carry. Garrard’s next throw is out of the reach of anyone.

The third down throw hits Walker for a first down. At the Steeler 40, Garrard bombs for the White Pony, and he gets dragged down in the end zone by Ike Taylor, who’s gonna get flagged for pass interference.

Maurice Jones-Drew gets the yard for a TOUCHDOWN, Scobee adds the extra point, 14-7 Jags.

“He burrowed in there.” – John. Al said something about a double entendre from John that I missed after that.

The Glove hits Nate Washington on 1st and 15 (after a false start) at the 25 for a 2nd and 5. Another false start makes it 2nd and 10. The next pass is incomplete, but then the Glove hits Ward for the 3rd down conversion at the 33. Another pass to Ward will finish off the 1st quarter.

Did someone reset Frank Caleindo’s 15 min clock? – JG

Blame TBS for giving “Frank TV” another season. Moore goes to the 45 yard line on the next carry, getting a first down. Glove hits Ward at the 22 yard line, but there’s a flag — and it gets picked up because Glove was outside the pocket. Moore gets a few more, and we’re set up with a 3rd and 3 at the 20. Glove threw off his back foot to Moore, and it was underthrown. Jeff The Exhibitionist will kick a field goal try from 38 yards out — up and good. 14-10, Jags.

Witherspoon takes the kickoff back to the 39, stopped only by Reed from getting to the end zone. The Jags are stuck with a 3-and-out, here comes the punter. Steelers have it back at the 18, and the slant to Holmes gets out to the Pitt 37. Moore gains a yard on a carry.

“Exotic Blitzes”? Isn’t that a strip club a block down from Soldier Field? – Mal

OK, I missed that first down play…but the Glove bombs it to Nate Washington and he’s in fox the touchdown. Kick is up and good, 17-14, Steelers take the lead.

@Mal – yes it is, but all the strippers look like Buddy Ryan’s relatives – Rob in WI

“He squirts down the line.” – John, via 49er16

Nate Washington just redefined wide open on that touchdown pass. – JFein
Wow… no WR should be that wide open… unless it’s like, a middle school game. – Rob in WI
William James must change his name to “Gullible DB”. – SSReporters

Cruel. The Jags start with a carry by MJD on their own 7.

“He just runs right through. He’s like a missile. I start a defense, I’ll take him” – John, as the Jags suffer another three and out, this time deep in their own territory. Holmes takes the return back to the Pitt 45, and there are flags on an illegal block in the back. So, that’s going back to the 37. A first-down pass across the 50 will be negated on holding, making it 3rd and pretty long, but the Glove goes for Nate Washington and is incomplete. 4th down.

And the Steelers get bailed out on a taunting penalty. First down at the 40. Jack del Rio looks like he’s about to explode on the sidelines. Moore gets hit behind the line on 1st, and the next two plays go nowhere. Another punt coming, and it goes into the end zone. Jags will start at their own 20.

The Jags are burrowing using the run, trying to get the run started, and it’s making me kinda sleepy — and they get denied on 3rd down, so it’s punt-trading. Holmes brings the punt back to the Pitt 29. Gary Russell hits the outside, rushing for a first at the 43. The Glove throws it to Miller at the J’ville 39, and we’ve hit the two minute warning.

Did Al just say that one of the Steelers linemen was doing a good job? Is he watching the sames Steelers games we are? Can’t he at least pay someone to watch tape and tell him that “The Steelers line is like a sieve”… especially since they went on and on about how The Glove was getting hit again and again?

I never thought I’d say this, but Al Michaels needs to go. – Rob in WI

We pick up with the Steelers at the 25 of J’ville, and The Glove overthrows John Holmes. The porn-star-in-training brings the pass in at the 5 for a first in goal on the next play, and pays for it with the business end of a hit from a Jaguar. Hines Ward couldn’t get both feet in and hang on to the pass on 1st. Moore gets a yard on 2nd. The Glove throws one to where nobody actually is. The Exhibitionist should be coming on to kick a figgie. 23 yard kick is up and good. 20-14, Steelers.

NBC has shown like, 3 JAX cheerleaders… I’m beginning to think that all women in Jacksonville are either a) strippers, b) whores, or c) both. And not the good kind, either. The kind that have been at their job just about 5 years too long. – Rob in WI

Who looks older, Dan Rooney or Al Davis? – 49er16

I’m voting Davis. After a couple of busted plays, the Jags take a knee. 20-14, Steelers at halftime.

“There are a lot of Terrible Towels here.” – John
“There are a lot of Jaguars fans crying in their towels.” – Al

See you in the 2nd half thread.

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