More Pey-Pey to bring us back, as the Colts are down at the half — to all our surprise, really. The Colts’ offense looks stunted right now — there is some inevitable truism about not getting snaps in the pre-season for Peyton and the first team.
Based on what I’ve heard on NBC tonight, I’m assuming when Brady goes on IR he’ll take over the uniform patch and field adornment from Gene Upshaw. – Anon
I don’t care who you are. That’s just funny.
You think next week Chris Berman will call Cassle “Matt ‘Harold and Kumar go to White Cassle'”? – Anon
Don’t give Berman any ideas, although the majority of his references are from the 70s or 80s.
What the fuck was that? Devin Hester caught the kickoff in the end zone, and it looked like he was going to stay in, but then he snuck out and got WHACKED by Melvin Bullet (that is an all-time GREAT NAME, by the way) at the 7. Lovie Smith looks like he’s been sucking on a lemon after that move by Hester. A quick three and out follows, and Maynard is going to give the ball to the Colts in good field position.
The Bears are not helping themselves with false starts on the punt.
Punt’s brought back to the Indy 47.
“That’s the Boogie Burger. You have one, then you go over to the [corporate name] Shopping Center and buy some new pants.” – AM
“Two pairs of new pants.” – JM
Manning hits Reggie Wayne for a first down in Bears territory, and I’ve just lost my fantasy match-up this week with Dallas Clark not coming back.
Charles Tillman gets flagged for illegal contact on a bomb Peyton was aiming for Marvin Harrison. 1st and 10 at the Chicago 32.
“If he’s angry and he gets fast, this is the time to use [Harrison].” – JM
Can someone translate what the fuck this actually means? I don’t think anyone has seen Marvin Harrison emote on the field for his entire career. He is the Gargoyle of wide receivers. Joseph Addai gets a first down and goal for the Colts. Screen to Wayne, bad block by Gonzalez. Manning to Wayne in the back of the end zone, TOUCHDOWN.
Kick is good, 15-13, Bears.
Hester gets run off out of bounds at about the mid-20s on the kickoff. Kevin Jones gets six yards on his carry. and grabs 2 more on the next one. Orton to Olsen for a third down conversion.
A 2nd down pass to Forte gets nine yards, then Forte grabs another first down with a rush.
“There’s nothing about Matt Forte that looks like a rookie.” – JM
I know what he means, but it still sounds kind of funny. Forte looks like he didn’t get that first down on the carry right there — but, that is a very small piece that got it, and they’ll get the chains moving. After a couple of short running plays, Orton loses the ball while dropping back, but recovers — problem is, they’re out of Gould’s range now. Punt time on 4th and 6. Fair catch at the 16.
NBC uses Green Day’s “Warning” for bump music.
This always amuses me about ads for erection pills: “Don’t take [insert pill here] if you aren’t healthy enough for sexual activity.” If you ever got the diagnosis of not being healthy enough for that, wouldn’t you just consider killing yourself at some point? (I don’t mean to say you would go through with it, but y’know…)
Anyway, Manning tries a checkdown and it’s incomplete on first down.
Peyton, Andrea’s waaaaatching yooooooou…..
Manning to Harrison…..but it’s a fumble caused by Charles Tillman, and Lance Briggs picks it up and takes it to the house for the TOUCHDOWN.
Dungy’s gonna challenge it.
“On a wing and prayer, he throws the flag. Probably a prayer.” – AM.
“The biggest problem he has is the stiffness.” -Andrea Kramer (via Brian)
(Giggles like a schoolgirl.)
Call stands, for obvious reasons. Harrison had the ball and both feet down; that wasn’t even close to being overturned. Gould’s kick is up and good, 22-13, Chicago.
No Dane Cook, you may NOT make any more movies! Bad! – jfreak
Worth asking: how do you sell a movie like that to bigwigs? “Oh, we’re gonna cast Dane Cook, the Pie guy, and Kate Hudson, who’s really still coasting off of the over-rated Almost Famous. Whaddaya think?” “I’ll sign off on that!”
On one of my frequent scannings of the cable guide, I found a bizarre little action flick that had Dane Cook starring alongside Dennis Rodman in the late 90s. I can’t remember the name of it, and I think you and I are both better off if I don’t recall it.
Good return by Indy, but there are flags that mean block in the back. Manning hits Wayne for some yardage.
“He’s lettin’ the Bears off the hook; he’s lettin’ em blitz too much.” – JM
Could it be that the Bears’ defense might be better than Peyton and his O-line, guys? I mean, it can’t be that Peyton’s not totally 100 percent (although that helps). Give the Bears more credit, guys.
Guys, that was a tough catch. If anything, Peyton kind of overthrew that ball to Marvin. Manning has to call another time out, and they’ve only got one left with another quarter left to go. Addai converts the 3rd and 1 at the Indy 40, and we’re 45 minutes in.
“Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.” I love the Dos Equis ads, although the beer is essentially Mexican Budweiser.
Manning goes deep for Wayne, but he can’t land inbounds. Do the Colts have enough patches on their uniforms? With the stadium patch and the Upshaw patch, it’s crowded. Peyton’s captain’s “C” is even higher; he looks like an erstwhile Boy Scout.
Manning hits Wayne at a bit more manageable area. Addai catches the 3rd down play, but is short.
When I imagine Roger Goodell making decisions in his office, I imagine he sounds like John C. McGinley in those Miller Lite ads. “It’s funny faux pas, not funny ha-ha.” (Why I imagine this is another matter.)
Bears are psyched, as the Colts go for it on 4th and 2 and get stuffed at midfield. Chicago is moving it in Indy territory with some ease, as Orton calls time out on 2nd and 2.
Apparently your Dane Cook/Dennis Rodman flick is called “Simon Sez,” from 1999. I’d never heard of it, but it’s got a stellar 2.2/10 rating on IMDb, good enough for the 62nd-worst rating of all time! – Jay
MST3K would have had a field day with that movie.
“They have out-physicaled the Colts tonight.” – John Madden (via Anon)
From the Department of Made-Up Phrases.
Al referenced his drunken photos and the Neckbeard! Orton then gets Rexy on us on 3rd and 1, hitting Desmond Clark for 36 yards. 1st and goal on the 2.
Fullback Jason McKie piles in for the TOUCHDOWN!
Gould’s PAT is good, 29-13, Chicago.
Courtney Roby gets beat up again on the kickoff return. That was a glorious replay of Manning Face that NBC showed before going to break.
I think those patches might be 25th anniversary, not stadium. I cannot say for certain, though. – jfreak
Has it really been 25 years since Irsay’s Midnight Move? Wow.
I dont think there is a person in Chicago between the age of 20-27 that doesnt have a drunk Kyle Orton story. – Brian
Wouldn’t shock me too much. Drunk Kyle Orton has become an erstwhile sort of legend, one that polite media don’t really want to acknowledge too much.
“Key 3rd down for the Colts here.” – AM
Really, aren’t all third downs key? Essentially, converting those is the key to succeeding in football. Some are more so than others because of timing and being behind, but I have a hard time thinking of a non-key third down play. Anyway, Gonzalez catches the pass, first down. Jacob Tamme, filling in for Clark, gets one. Marvin Harrison gets a couple yards on the short pass — but, ineligible man downfield on the Colts.
Two uses of “erstwhile” tonight? You are one erudite fucker. – Jay
I like my $10 words. Alex Brown takes Manning down for the sack.
Forgive my ignorance, but what does the Neckbeard refernce mean ? – JG
Please observe the photo below in the first half thread and Deadspin’s Kyle Orton category.
Fourth down, and the Colts are probably going for it — incomplete pass, and the Bears get it back and will look to ice this one.
“Orton with efficient numbers….”- AM. Translation: less than spectacular passing yardage, only one TD pass (right, or does he even have a TD pass?), basically, has not fucked it up for the Bears.
Oh goody, the graphic bar at the bottom is back after a short hiatus!
The Colts need a priceless pep talk. – SSReporters
“Alex Brown came from the backside of Peyton Manning.” -JM (via Anon)
I’m laughing like the 12-year old that I really am. We can safely say this game is over as the Bears try to run out the clock, and question whether the Neckbeard is truly the One True Quarterback for the Bears or if the Colts just played really flat.
And the Colts are going to run it out with some meaningless plays, as the AFC South — which I think is the best division in the conference — has three of its four teams lose today. Tennessee is the only team in the division to win (well, by beating a division rival.)
Anyway, it’s gonna wrap up 29-13, Chicago. Thanks for sticking around, and I’ll see you next week for Steelers-Browns. Drop by Signal to Noise some time, won’t you?