Welcome back to our weekly installment of The Pam Ward Chronicles. I’m going to be keeping track of the Announcing Quotes throughout the day and I ask that you join in. Please leave any that you come across in the comments or feel free to email me at AwfulAnnouncing@Gmail.com.
There’s no Pam today, so we’re playing a man down. I’m pretty sure Andre Ware will step it up for the early game and I’ll need your help the rest of the day. Enjoy your Saturday, and be sure to check out the other goodness below this post.
Your College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Nine
Chris Spielman was in rare form last night, and I actually enjoyed the Friday Night game without screaming at him. He even made me LOL at one point.
“Kenny Chesney hooked up with Tim Tebow.”- Chris Fowler
Not a good choice of words there. Do you think Peyton is jealous???
Gameday Sign of the Day:
“My nipples are bleeding.”- Tom Arnold talking Iowa Football
“”I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much speed on the field by both teams.” Paul McGuire (Via Gangsta D)
“Tom Arnold from Ottumwa, Iowa — his movie career turned about as successful as Robert Gallery’s pro career.” – Dave Pasch, after a segment proclaiming Arnold the Iowa Hawkeyes’ biggest fan. ZING! (Via S2N)
Oh I got video of that coming. Burrrrrrn.
“The Fab Five had their championships vacated.”- Dave Pasch What championships? (Via Anon)
“I shook his hand and almost broke my fingers.”- Paul Maguire
“Johnny almost Dingled you there.”- Brad Nessler
“The only player in the Big East to win a Heisman Trophy? Trick question: Gino Torretta for Miami in 1992.”- Brad Nessler
“But Miami wasn’t in the Big East at the time.”- Bob Griese
“Yes they were.”- Brad Nessler
“He’s seeing double right now. Just like Maguire on Thursday night.” – Brad Nessler (Via S2N)
“This is just a reminder, but there really isn’t a yellow line on the field at the first down marker.”- Dave Lamont (Via Dollar Dollar Bill)
“You have the right to ask for a measurement at any time. And any time it’s close, I think it’s beneficiary to bring that chain out and just take a look at it.” – Tim Brandt (Via Barry)
…..”and when you throw to him and he runs into the official and BOOM…(pause)…goes the dynamite.”- Verne Lundquist (Via Dummy and Chaz)
“You cut yourself shaving, you bleed for a week” – Gary Danielson (Via Smed)
“Can you get it up every week. . . consistently?”- Craig James (Via Kyle)
Paraphrasing somewhat: “That scoring drive for Florida was like the story of the scorpion and the turtle. The scorpion asks the turtle for a ride across the river and promises not to sting him. The turtle accepts because the scorpion says ‘If I sting you, we both die because I will drown.’ Midway across, the scorpion stings the turtle, who turns asks ‘Why?’ The scorpion says ‘It’s what I do.'”- Gary Danielson (Via Kyle)
“He listened to Daddy.”- Brent Musburger
“And he handles it at the thirteen.”- Gary Thorne
(Camera shows the ball bouncing out of the endzone)
“Or rather in the endzone.”- Gary Thorne
“They look like a contender for number one.”- Brent Musburger on Ohio State
Umm….they are number one Brett. In every poll.
“That wasn’t whistle that was a rim rocker.”- Brent Musburger
“I think Ohio State will be one, Boston College will be two, and LSU will be at three.”- Kirk Herbstreit
NO REALLY?!?!?!?! That’s what they’re ranked now Kirk….way to go out on a limb.
“And South Carolina is going to take this to overtime. I’m going to have to think about what is happening in Britney Spears’ live before we come back.” – Mike Patrick
“I wonder if she’s watching tonight.” – Todd Blackledge
“I think she just bought a new double wide.” – Mike Patrick
WINNAH! (Via Unreliable)
“They’re not going to get a lot of pressure on a continuous basis unless they’re bringing pressure.” — James Hasty (Via J-Red)
Corso: “I’ve got Boston College in at #5 because I had to get someone from the Big East in my Top 5.”
Fowler: “You know they’re in the ACC?”
Corso: “Someone from the East Coast. They should be in the Big East.”