I’ve got nothing better to do tonight, so it’s pseudo live-blog time. I will be keeping a running log of the better (worse) quotes from tonight’s ASG. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

And this just in…..Chris Issak is singing the National Anthem! Talk about someone who’s now!!
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Ooh the Taco Bell Swing For A Million Sweepstakes! Ha, and the dude almost whiffs hitting the ball off the tee. Horrible.

And Homer Simpson has something to say. I swear no film in history has had this much promotion around it.

“And now your NL All Star Reserves (pause) and now your NL Coaches”- Joe Buck, Whoops…..Joseph was unaware of the order there.

Oh Eric Byrnes you crazy guy….”You don’t want to get in a fight with me out here guys…I’m pretty intense tonight”- EB, YOU DEFEND THAT KAYAK (and your precious dog too) ERIC!

Nothing too bad so far…..though we did just have a little girl picking her nose as we went to break.

Tim McCarver gives us the definition of “Busker”….thanks Tim….didn’t know what that meant either.

Who’s bored already? ME!

I don’t really know what McCarver was trying to say, but he said that Miguel Cabrera’s contract is up at the end of this year…he’s not a FA til ’10- Vegas Watch

“Last year of his contract with Florida and he’ll be commanding big money next year.”- TM

Ha, great catch Jacob…..Miguel Cabrera’s Bio

Ah the Burger King Hot Zone makes an appearance. OMDQ is fuming somewhere.

DANE!!!!!!!!!!! “WHERE DO THESE GUYS COME FROM?!?!?!?!” “THERE’S ONLY ONE OCTOBER!!!!!”

God I hate him.

When they use the term “this time it counts” they realize that it’s been like this for 4 years now right?

“You only see outfielders doing that…not infielders because they expect balls to be hit right at them.”- McCarver on Soriano practicing his swing in the field.

Umm really Tim? You can’t hit balls directly to outfielders??? Okay…just checking.

Who the hell is Jose Mota? FOX has more random on-field reporters than any other network.

“Why is Marvin Harrison doing sideline reports for FOX??”- WCT

Hahaha….another great call. I’m looking for a picture right now.

Yep.

I can’t believe Joe Buck said the Young-Lee fight was like “something out of 300”. Good lord.

“As you’re looking at the Burger Zone….er, the Burger King Hot Zone.”- Tim McCarver, Hahahaha….actually I like the Burger Zone better. Fixed!

“There’s a swimming Bulldog! Here it looks like Superman in a cape to save him.”- Eric Byrnes

Hahahaha….his dog even hates him. He was swimming to Alcatraz.

Ichiro is going to be your MVP….get that man a Chevy!

“Bruin the dog of Eric Byrnes is back on the boat”- Joe Buck

Whew!

“Took this from Baseball Analysts: “Joe asks Tim, a former catcher himself, what his career high was. “Thirteen,” McCarver responds as sure as can be. Go ahead and look. His high was nine in 1966.””- Vegas Watch

Hahahahaha. I knew I should have checked.

“Cordero gets it up…and so does Crawford”- Jeremy, Good catch J.

Russell Martin looks like Turtle from Entourage Joe? Really??? And I look like Kenji Johjima.

Wow…Victor Martinez getting cozy with Sizemore and Sabbathia. Cute.

“He couldn’t fit mine in his pocket…..it’s so big.”- Joe Buck on his schlong scorecard.

Great job by the technical folks to have Paula Cole’s keyboard ready. Boy this is awkward. Okay….that wait was worth it. That girl can sing!

“Don’t fight kids….it’s the All Star Game.”- Joe Buck

Tell that to Eric Byrnes, Joe!!!

“If his hobby wasn’t cooking he’d be known as Little Papi.”- Timmy Mc talking about David Ortiz during a report in the 8th inning even though Papi hasn’t played since the 4th inning.

“And he (Utley) likes to dance at weddings which makes Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson very happy”- JB
“I’ll have to ask Chase if he limits his dancing to weddings only.”- TM

Man crush alert!

“I used to like to dance a lot more before knee problems.”- TM

Aww.

“That looked like the splitter down.”- TM

Uhh yeah. As opposed to up?

“The speeds of those two pitches are so different, so is JJ Putz with his fastball and his splitter.”- TM

What???

“A lot of people working awfully hard to bring you the sights and sounds from San Diego”- JB
“Did I say San Diego?”- JB
“Yep.”- TM
“Good work Joe….way to close down the broadcast.”-JB
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So there you have it. The AL makes it interesting, but wins their 10th in a row as Meatwad nails the prediciton. Ichiro wins the MVP. And two special guys made yet another Midsummer Classic a memorable one. I can’t wait for the playoffs!


Photo via The Sports Hernia be sure to check out their post.

“He loves you San Francisco! He hits homeruns and he’s going to be a free agent!!! You like that one?”- Jeanne Zelasko

Umm Jeanne……no he’s not.

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