Inside the NBA has been on the air since 1998, and Barkley has been on since 2000. For some reason he’s just now getting the attention from mainstream media. Pretty much everywhere I look there’s an interview with him, and now he’s invading NASCAR.com, and GQ.
Someone asked me the old if you could go to dinner with three people living or dead question the other day and my first two responses were Hunter S. Thompson and comedian Mitch Hedberg. I couldn’t think of a third though. I mean you could choose from anyone. Hitler? Too depressing. Jesus? Nah…I’ve seen Passion of the Christ. Shakespeare? Boooring. And that’s when it dawned on me….I’d want to have dinner with Charles Barkley over any person alive or dead….ever. Just check out some of these quotes (after the jump) from recent articles and tell me dinner with The Round Mound wouldn’t be awesome…..
Q: How is Tony (Stewart) like “the you of NASCAR?”
Barkley: ‘Cause he’ll say whatever the hell he wants to say. I’m gonna say whatever the hell I want to say. I’m hoping they’ll fire me here and just keep the check coming.
Q: After the Talladega race the fans threw bottles at Jeff Gordon’s car as he broke Dale Earnhardt’s career win mark. These people are from your home state. What did you think?
Barkley: They’re just mad ’cause he’s got his own teeth. They’ve got a bias against Jeff Gordon ’cause of that.
Q: What’s the fastest that you’ve ever gone in a car that you can tell us about?
Barkley: I had a Porsche. It was the last time I’ve actually ever driven a car. I had a Porsche. I was going about 130 [mph] one night.
You know, first of all when you get a Porsche or a Mercedes you can’t drive slow — you can’t drive slow. I’ve had two Porsches, and like if you’re just cruising you’re going 85 to 90 miles per hour. So one night I was going about 130 … I lost control of my car and I just closed my eyes. I thought it was over [my jaw is wide open at this point]. It’s a true story. I sat there for like 20 minutes after it was over and was like, “wow, I can’t drive a car again.” I traded it in the next day.
This was in Philadelphia, Pa. I was on the expressway, got up to 130 — lost control and was just spinning. And I said, “you know what, I can’t drive this car.”
Which is when Charles starts talking about hair extensions. “There was this one time,” he says. “Now, this is back in the ’80s. There was a time when I brought this girl home, and she had the most luscious, long red hair. And she tells me she has to take a shower. So I say okay, and then she takes her weave out. I’m like, ‘Where’d your hair go, girl? You was beautiful. What the fuck happened to your hair?’ ” He pauses for a few seconds, and when no one responds, when no one even looks up from whatever he or she is doing, Barkley’s mouth opens slightly in disbelief, and his face—something in his bruised eyes and the hangdog tilt of his head—looks increasingly befuddled and maybe even a little hurt. “Am I the only one that ever happened to?” he says, looking around the studio. “Kenny, you honestly telling me that never happened to you?”
The stage manager starts counting off the seconds—“We’re back in five, four…”—and Kenny returns from his happy place and gives a quick little dismissive shake of his head. “No,” he says after considering it for a moment—“…two, one…”—“No, I like a weave”—“We’re on.”
“Back here on Inside the NBA,” Ernie says. “Presented by Hyundai…”
Just think about that dinner for a second. You’d have the gambling and the role model stuff to talk about, and the guy has been in some of the best movies ever: Hot Shots!, Look Who’s Talking Now, Forget Paris, Space Jam, and He Got Game. You could then throw dudes through plate glass windows and spit on passer-bys.
Just like D-Wade, I want Charles in my Fave Five. In fact I’m going so far as to change my man crush from Matthew McConaughey to Charles Barkley. I’m also forcing the Awful GF to add Barkley to her “five”.
It amazes me that the national media is just now catching on to how awesome CB is. If you have the intestinal fortitude to get drunk and stay up until 2am….check out the late night stuff on Inside the NBA. It doesn’t get any better.
Feel free to leave your “3” and/or “5” in the comments.
P.S.- Please TNT…..Let Barkley announce another game!