Before I get into our newest inductee I would like to give you my new criteria for someone making it into the AA Hall of Shame:
- They need to have recently said something completely ridiculous. (see below)
- They need to have a history of saying ridiculous statements. (For that Marcelo Balboa and Dave O’Brien will be sparred……for now. Unless someone can provide me with further evidence.)
- They don’t necessarily have to be announcers….we’ve already roasted Skip Bayless, so he’s in.
- Finally, I have to be to the point where I can’t even stand reading, watching, or listening to them. (Goodbye to Dee Brown, Mark Jackson, Orel, and Tino….well Tino was a Yankee so he’s staying in. Sorry Sporting Brews.
- And lastly the HOS will be a five-level Pyramid……just kidding.
Let’s get into it…….welcome your newest member Stuart Scott.
Meeting the Criteria: (I’m ending with #1 because it was too ridiculous. You need the suspense.
2. Hmm where do we start. Here’s just a few example on how he’s been Awful for years:
- I’m pretty hip on Urban language…I even have some African-American friends…..they can’t understand him either.
- He is pretty much the reason I don’t watch SportsCenter anymore and get all my info from the internet and PTI.
- He took Chris Berman’s catchphrasery (yep, just made a word) and tried to see how far he could take it. Now everyone does it.
- He repeatedly breaks into other anchors/co-hosts acts. I remember him doing this to Fred Carter all the damn time during NBA games.
- The best pass Vinny Testaverde ever connected on (one of the only ones) was his eye. That’s god telling you something.
- Two Words: Dream Job
- Please make one joke and talk about the clip….that’s all I’m asking.
- And finally this quote, “Life. That came from life. That came from–every cookout, every barbecue that you go to with extended family — we all know somebody named Pookie — we all know a Knuck-Knuck [sp?], we– there’s a Ray-Ray — isn’t there a Ray-Ray in your family somewhere? In, in your family or your neighborhood there’s a Ray-Ray. When there’s a big barbecue, Ray-Ray is there, Moeesha Baby Daddy — we as black America know those people. And that won’t — look – that one’s for us. That’s just for us. That’s not for white America.” Let’s not perpetuate any stereotypes Stu.
3. Qualifies as a Sportscenter Host.
4. See above point on not being able to watch SportsCenter anymore.
Last night, after WVU crushed MD, Stu went into the highlights to lead off SportsCenter. Speaking on Steve Slaton from WVU he had this to say (and I’m paraphrasing some of this)…..
“Slaton goes silly on the Terps. Check this stat….Slaton took over the D-1 Rushing Lead….IN THA FIRST QUARTA!”
Umm Stu…..IT’S F’ING THURSDAY!!! NO OTHER TEAMS HAVE PLAYED THIS WEEK BESIDES MD AND WVU!!!
In 2nd Place is Garrett Wolfe from Northern Illinois….you might have seen him running for 171 yards against Ohio State. No? Okay well he had 196 last week against Ohio U. Did you see that? You didn’t? Okay then…..
DO YOU REALIZE HE IS PLAYING BUFFALO AT HOME TOMORROW?!?!?!?!?! (The same Buffalo that almost gave up 3….that’s right….3! 100 yard rushers last week!…127, 99, and 97)
Slaton is sick…don’t get me wrong (and was shut down early week 2) but come on Stu who has WVU played? Get cha mind right playa! Welcome to the Hall.
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