Good weekend all-around for sports, er Sport. Didn’t watch any baseball and didn’t watch the slaughter that was the Ryder Cup (Phil should take notes on how to distract Tiger though). Football is priority number 1 here at the moment….especially when it comes to The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Announcing. Let’s get into it.

Oh, and we will once again be live-blogging the MNF game tonight. Watch Spike Lee’s documentary and then join us later on tonight.

The Good:

This is always a tough category for me to find entries in, but I think I’m going with Gus Johnson and Steve Tasker. Not only was Steve Tasker a badass on Special Teams when he played, but he’s pretty darn good as a Color guy. Gus Johnson is a little over the top most of the time, but he has to get you interested in the Ravens/Browns game somehow right?

I’m also giving a nod to Brad Nessler here. After Joe Pa had his…um, “problems” in the middle of the game. Nessler was commenting on the beef of the OSU defensive line, and chimed in beautifully….
“And Joe Pa is wishing he DIDN’T have the beef last night”

In my opinion…you can never go wrong with a poop joke in the booth. Ever. I was also going to give one to Sam Rosen and Tim Clark Green (Tim Clark would be a golfer) (Skins/Texans), but they got bumped down because of one Sam Rosen goof.

The Bad:

We have a few entries for this category. First is the aforementioned Sam Rosen….As he and Tim Green were sailing along the tricky Andre Johnson threw Sam a curveball….

“And Andre Rison…..I mean Andre Johnson with the catch on the sidelines.”

Good call there Sammy. Andre “Bad Moon” Rison (F you Berman) was last seen winning a Grey Cup up north for the Toronto Argos in 2004 (RIP Left Eye).

I’m also giving a bad to my lady who provided the inside joke for the day. With the Skins beginning to T-off on David Carr, Tim Clark Green (Tim Clark would be a golfer) threw this out there….

“The Skins are just going to rattle Carr’s cage and continue to tackle.”

Which my gf turned into…..

“What did he just say about a Cajun Taco. You should write about that in your blog thingy.” (As you wish)

Another Bad goes to Bob Griese who is normally not so terrible, but he makes some pretty odd statements some times……

“This is the time of year when you get together with your neighbors and see who’s toughest”

Umm, not sure if I remember that time of year but okay.

The Ugly:

I am trying my hardest not to give this to the Announcing Team of Pam Ward and Mike Gottfried every week. If you haven’t heard Gottfried yet this year…it really sounds like he just had a stroke. Since I haven’t confirmed one way or another I’m going to stay away, but feel free to sit in the comfort of your home and laugh your ass off every time he tries to say a word that starts with “S”.

Your winner (or loser…however you look at it) for the past weekend is one Christopher Spielman.

I loved Chris when he played….especially after that SI article came out. You know the one where he “Thought horrible things in the locker room before the game. Things like my Wife and kids being raped and killed. I would come out to the field in tears.” Just Psychotic! Well maybe Chris has taken one too many hits to the head.

When Mario Manningham knocked a ball out of bounds he suggests that “Maybe Mario was flagged for Illegal batting of the ball.” Well immediately after he realized he had made up a rule, he praised Manningham for doing so.

At one point during the game Sean McDounough coyly told an entire nation of viewers that Chris was “Farting in the booth.” See, I told you poop jokes always work in the booth.

And my personal favorite…..after a Wisconsin tackle…….
“Belly to back souffle”- CS “May I ask what that means?”- SMc “Some wrestling term….souflle, I don’t know.- CS

There you have it. Your first GBU….I hope you enjoyed. I’ll see everyone tonight for the live-blog. I also leave you with some of my favorite Chris Spielman’isms from his playing days.

  • “If I ever lay down on the football field,” Spielman told reporters last March, “one of you guys get your hunting rifle out and put me out of my misery.”
  • During camp defensive end Phil Hansen missed a few days of practice with a shoulder injury. Naturally Spielman sought to make him feel bad. What’s the problem, he asked? “It’s my A-C joint,” said Hansen, referring to his left achromio-clavicular joint. “A-C joint?” Spielman replied. “You don’t even need that thing. I had mine taken out, and I’ve never had a problem!”
  • He has missed only those four games in eight years, none last season, despite tearing his right pectoral from his rib cage in the Lions’ opener. “I thought I’d broken my collarbone,” he recalls, “so I said, ‘We’ll just finish her out.’
  • “I realize I’m psycho, man. But I know there’s a lot of psycho men like me out there.”