It’s the Jaguars…..It’s the Steelers. ON MONDAY NIGHT!!!

Welcome all. For ease and accessibility our Announcers for tonight are MT, JT, and TK. Keep up with me in the comments, and let’s get into this thing.

7:27- Mike Ditka says something that can only be deciphered as Goooudfudud Defense Goudududud!!!

7:32- We have our first Tony Boselli sighting! Good times Jags fans.

7:42- Your first preview of 18,212 tonight of Bill Cowher

7:46- Ben Roth is suiting up……get your Steelers’ Official Motorcycle helmets out!

7:51- Okay taking a break until the start of game time. You people better show up.

8:10- “I hear he has a broken bone in the C-Section, or C-6 section of his back”- Jaws.

8:18- “That’s better than kissing your sister….it’s kissing your coach!”- Berman on Joey Porter, Ummm what?!?!?!?!

Your other viewing options for tonight:
2 hours of Deal or No Deal, Howie Mandel is my hero
Prison Break
Wife Swap
The Class
How I met Your Mother
Two and a Half Men
(if you’re looking for something else to do….I know you’re not)

8:26- “Jacksonville, is Jagged Up! Tonight!”- CB. Let’s get this thing going.

8:28- Your final line looks like it’s -2.5 Pitt…..I’m on the Steelers. The public went with the Jags when they heard Roth was playing.

8:31- Eva Longoria is DESPERATE for some football……Cross Promotion Alert!!!

8:33- GMC Trucks! Cross Promotion Alert!!!

8:33- We are from Jacksonville! How much teal can one stadium wear!?!

8:35- “Ben if it weren’t for bad luck you’d have no luck at all…..what’s next does he find out he’s pregnant?”- TK, I think winning a SuperBowl without a TD pass is pretty lucky.

arcuRADIO said…I didn’t realize they’re now called the Jacksonville Limp Dildos. What the hell are the JAX fans shaking?!

There’s my commenters…..breaking out the dildo references right off the bat.

8:37- Okay I hate Suzy Kolber….she’s not hot, and sounds like she’s doing a Toyota commercial every read.

8:39- “Hank Williams and Kickoff in 60 seconds”- MT, thanks for the countdown Mikey!

8:40- I love that NFL jacket that Hank is wearing…classy. Damn Questlove from the Roots is on this? Can someone say sellout? Little Richard, Bootsy Collins, Stevie V. Here we go…..Pittsburgh gets the kick. Apparently Kordell Stewart is returning….oh wait that’s Santonio Holmes.

8:42- Hines Ward on the intros……too straight laced in my opinon. “Papa Smurf”? Big Ben completes his first two. Light em up BB.

8:43- Welcome to Duvall? What is Mike Peterson saying?

8:45- How many times can JT say the phrase limited play? And we have our first review! Monday Night Excitement!!!

Here’s your How I met your Mother update:

………just kidding.

8:53- “BEEEE YEAH”- Joey Porter

So I think it’s time to say that I’m giving up on the Redskins and I’m now a Jaguars Fan…..someone in Florida please send me a Matt Jones jersey stat.

8:56- “Ike Taylor could be one of the best corners in football”- JT, seriously stop Joe….just give up. Pickle by Leftwich Hagans gets it for Pitt.

9:28- Okay sorry about that delay…….Comcast turned the internet off for me knowing that I was killing them in traffic…..moving on.

Here’s what I was going to talk about:
– Appendix Diagrams
– This crew is always talking….slow down a bit.
– TK threw out a gambling reference during a “family program”….”Daddy, what’s an over/under?”

9:35- ***UPDATE***- This game suuuuuuuucks.

9:38- Dwayne Wade is in the booth for some reason???? He’s no Jamie Foxx that’s all I’ll say.

9:40- If there are ever fantasy punters in leagues I’m taking Jacksonville’s Kicker.

9:43- 2 Minute Warning of the Worst game ever……..

Okay I’m officially watching Deal Or No Deal…..So Welcome….To the Deal or no Deal LIVE BLOG!!!!

9:47- Highest offer in the history of Deal or No Deal……right when we come back!!!!!!!!!!

buckeyegirl said…hi…deal or no deal is on…more exciting then the football game 😉

See I told you.

9:53- “$650,000!!!!!!!!!”, coming from the thickest NJ accent you’ve ever heard. He’s going for the Million….bank on it.

9:55- “NO DEAL!!!!!!!!!” “This is the greatest show ever….I play at home. Hanging out with you and these beautiful ladies”

$500,000 case…..but the guy still has 1 and 3 mil cases (this is so staged)

9:56- I flipped back to MNF in time to hear (with ACRUradio) Joe T. say, “With Breath coming out of their mouth”…..umm yeah.

9:57- DEAL! $675,000 dollars……and what’s in his case?????????

$3,000,000 Dollars! Wow….not staged at all.

HALFTIME- Pittsburgh 0/Jax 0…….shoot me in the face. “We’ve got a pitcher’s duel”- CB, shut up Chris.

Okay, most people would leave you high and dry and not return for the second half. I’m going to drink some more (2-liter of Coke) and plug away at this second half. You know why? Because I love you….that’s why.

10:15- Daunte Culpepper in Madden is literally 14 times better than DC Pepp in real life (yep just made that nickname up).

Irene Done said…You know what this telecast needs? A Tom Cruise sighting, that’s what. We just didn’t know how good we had it last week.

Irene is so right. Tom is our everything…..plain and simple.

10:22- Jimmy Smith is on the sideline! Put him in the damn game and get him the ball. P.S.- If this game ends in a 0-0 tie I will go down as the only person in the history of the world to live-blog a 0-0 tie. Just wanted you to know that.

10:24- Jags Driving! Look out scoreboard.

10:25- “This is the deepest penetration for either team”- MT……Penetration, hehe.

10:27- Steelers challenge. More time wasted. I hate how ESPN goes to commercial before showing a replay…..I need TIVO.

10:30- Hey a team got into the Red Zone!……Steelers D looking mediocre on this drive.

10:31- Wow Larry Foote (From!?!?!) blasts Leftwich on 3rd down…..FG Attempt…..

3-0 Jacksonville…..Thank god…..some points.

10:34- Okay Santonio Holmes sucks as a return man…..down the ball once please.

10:37- I’m predicting a final score of 7-3…..TD Hines Ward in the 4th.

10:40- “You said he was back two plays ago”- TK, after JT said that Big Ben was off his game and forcing throws. Now we’re playing with fire!

That last exchange was pretty good….now multiply that by ten and you’ll have a winner.

10:47- Jacksonville taking it to Pittsburgh now. Big third down conversion.

10:52- Still boring.

10:56- Still boring. (I could probably type this in 5 minute increments the rest of the game)

11:00- Great defense by Mathis……wait for it………….wait for it……

11:01- PUNT!!!!!!!!! Steelers.

11:07- Welcome to the NFL Reggie Williams.

6-0 Jax….I’m dying here.

11:13- Whoever Tony Gilbert is….he just nailed someone in the KR.

I fully expect Jacksonville to Blitz every down now.

11:14- 5 minutes left in the game and a third down….”This is a pretty important third down for both teams”-JT, umm it’s 6-0 in the fourth….I would think so Joe.

11:16- Ben is picked off…….that should be game. Thank f’ing god. Now say something dumb Joe.

9-0 Jax.

11:23- “Four minutes left…..this game is NOT over”- JT

11:25- 4th down toss up by Big Ben, and he grabs his side. The quotes from the MNF crew….well there aren’t any. Good job team.

11:26- “If you take a look at the Giant Eagle game”- JT, The New York Giants team is singular now? (Yeah, I know….I’m grasping now.)

11:30- Suzy Kolber says, “I’m a man-child. My adam’s apple provides the bass in my voice. I am a man.” Oh, and that the Jaguars are underrated.

(His name’s Del Rio and he dances in the sand!!!! Duran-Duran anyone? No, okay.)

11:35- Look out for that car Ben!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (interception)
And we have a Mike Tice sighting! Nice….that’s how you end a telecast.

Final…….9-0 Jacksonville. Thanks for stopping by. I’m going to hang myself now.

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