It’s times like these (when one of your posts gets added to the Consumerist, Netscape,, and gets a 488 on Digg) that you gather your focus (switch to Blogger Beta) and do the most wonderfullest, splendiforous, and rockin’ live-blog ever!!!!!!! (To make up for the others I missed)…

So tonight folks…’s the Bears…’s the Rams…’s the AA LIVE-BLOG!!!! Be there around 8ish and bring your A-Game (I was going to say AA game, but that’d be way too cheesy).

(Oh and that Picture you ask? Well that’s our friend Rex Grossman huffing er……making balloon animals with his friends at Florida.)

8:01- “He’s a playmaker who makes plays”- Michael Irvin, and we’re ready to go! Welcome all….new and old. Cheers……get your drink and let’s get into this.


Umm what? Can someone enlighten me on what that means?

The ESPN crew plays role play as the Bears Fans (Mike Ditka), Mushin Muhammed (Irvin), Brian Urlacher (TJ), Rex Grossman (Steve Young)………and then Ditka was Lovie Smith? Ditka you were already the Bears Fans who can you……oh whatever. Help me please. I don’t know what I just got myself into.

Why does Mike Irvin grab people all the time? Is it because he’s on ecstasy???

8:30- Barack Obama??????? Wow.

Picking up the helmet??? Jim Belushi!!!!!!!!!! Woo Baby!!!

Predicted that one last Bears game, but it didn’t hold true.

Fireworks indoors…..Al Michaels would be proud.

8:35- Tony sporting the shit brown jacket……nice.
The Chicago Fire, The Untouchables, and Steve Bartman…..Tony knows all about Chicago’s turmoil.

There was some sort of mascot out there for the toss…..not sure what it was, but it had a derby hat on. Can’t go wrong with that.

From the Comments: Is it just me, or did it look like Rachel Nichols had a false background behind her during the pregame (besides the fact that people were, you know, moving around)? Rough start for the sideline lighting crew tonight. – Brian from One More Dying Quail

It’s so true……she never blinks. One time in a 3 minute piece.

“You shouldn’t think”- JT
“That was your move right…..not to think at all. You were built for that”- TK

Nice….keep it up boys.

8:45- First down Bears and then Thomas Jones gets a flag after a money catch.

MNF crew already jinxing Rex by saying he can’t throw a pick here…..

And Grossman got cruuuuushed by Okanonsda Msudfasdfadsf… #21.

8:52- Torry Holt does his interview for a TV job after retirement while intro’ing the Rams O. McDonald drops an easy third down conversion after the Rams got awesome field position. Good job Rams…way to make it exciting. Final score 10-6 Bears.

Joe Theismann goes throught the EXACT same playbook on Rex Grossman that Jawz did about 30 minutes ago.

There you go! If you can’t throw….run it for twenty yards on third down Rexy.

Nice Throw! Rex hits a fadeaway screen and gets the personal foul. Now were playing Rex….I have faith in you if no one else does. Only because of the picture above though.

8:59- “Berrian gets the reverse”- MT, no it’s an end-around dammit!!!!!!

Tony compares his fear of flight to Rex Grossman perils at qb.

God Dammit……okay so I’ll tell you. I know I promised that I would never talk about my fantasy team on this site, but that just pushed me over the edge. I’m down 3.58 points with one player left. That player? Robbie Gould who just missed a 37 yarder….he has missed one, er two all year. That’s it I’m done talking about it. Oh and my league is already in the playoffs. I’m going to lose.

9:05- Devin Hester is the new X-Factor.

Joe thinks that the penalty is “not letting the gunner back inbounds” on the punt return…..but the gunner was flagged for going out on his own. Good call Joe, and great made up rule! 0-1.

From the Comments: “Which is better: a) the fact that immediately following Grossman’s scramble, ESPN cut to a shot of Brian Griese looking distinctly unhappy on the Bears sideline, or b) the fact that less than five minutes later, Michele Tafoya mentioned that “every player on the Bears sideline is pulling for Rex Grossman.” Michele, let me introduce you to Brian. Brian, tell Michele what you think of Rex. Don’t hold back. Also, is it too Kornheiser-ish of me if I throw out a “Fuck you” to Robbie Gould for missing that kick? My fantasy team needs all the help it can get. “- Brian

I feel your pain Brian……come on…..we can do this. The Bears are driving again.

“I always thought “Black Christmas” would be the black version of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. I’m disappointed they went the horror movie route.”- BJ from I Have Never Knowingly

Ha…..with Ced the Entertainer perhaps??? I’d start writing the script BJ.

9:09- Chitown punts after Rexy misses a wide open receiver on third down. Of course Robbie GOULET! doesn’t get a shot at the 54 yarder.

St. Louis ball at the 1.

(P.S.- BJ…..go to hell. I’m a Maryland fan. Screw you and Wake. J/K…congrats, enjoy the Bowl Game.)

The Marc Bulger comment is awesome. I love it personally.

9:15- Ian Scott who is replacing Tommie Harris just dominates the O-Line and stops the REVERSE! after Jackson handed of to Kevin Curtis.

3rd and 13…..Bulger just nails Curtis on the skinny. Hell of a pass.

End of the 1st……0-0. MNF!!!!!!!! It’s Hella Exciting!

Mike Tirico….explaining the similarities of Chicago and St. Louis…….Blues….check…..last two World Series Champions…..check…..

“They both have their own beefed up 70 homer guys (graphic of McGwire and Sosa)”

Umm what?!?!?!?! Which one of those hit 70 homers again?

9:21- St. Louis to go for it on 4th and short (BJ rejoices), but the play clock is running down so they call time.

“Do you like going for it here Joe?”-MT
“Yep….and I like play action here”- JT
Stephen Davis on the draw for the first and then some…..Joe……0-2.

Then Tony doesn’t realize that S. Davis was on the Rams……good grief.

TD…..Bulger to Holt. 7-0 Rams.

Check that…….botched snap. 6-0 Rams, and BJ loses his shit, and it keeps my 10-6 final score prediction alive.

Also….I forgot I had a pic for the 2nd Quarter…..enjoy.

Enjoy the Herpes, and………ENJOY DEVIN HESTER!!!!!!!!!! 5th return for a score.

7-6 Bears, and more importantly… point for Robbie GOULET! Just need that FG now.

9:35- Stevie Jackson has one hell of a lazy eye.

Stephen Davis in as the 3rd back… can bet you life that this is a pass. And it is.


“Hey. Who’s that blonde chick you just posted a picture of? She’s kinda cute. Kind of that wholesome girl next door type.”- Jay, from Cynical Bastard

Yep…..very wholresome.

Stevie Jack with the TD…….

13-7 Rams.

The Blur???? Really? That’s Hester’s name? OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!

Belushi in the booth!!!!!!!!!! I’m staying in bold for this…….because he’s hammered!!!!!

“My third child is going to be named Hester”- JB
“We’re….tensh and twhosssh with Resxxxsh.”- JB

I’m not kidding…..Jim Belushi is straight lit.

“The Cubs spent some money this past week”- JB
“Some Money?!?!?!?!”- T

“As an iconic actor we sometimes let the audience lead us…..sometimes we have to lead the audience”- JB

Ummm what?!?!?!?!?! Did you just call yourself an ICONIC actor!!!!!! Go straight to hell Belushi….your brother is rolling over in his grave.

TD…….Grossman to Berrian. Belushi loses his shit.

“What happened to no cheering in the booth Belushi”- TK, hahahahaha that was good.

They kick him out of the booth……that was gold Jerry.


Okay no more bold……

9:53- At least Belushi knew the game. That’s gotta be worth something.

Tough call here……..Grossman fumbles. Tuck Rule. Joe thinks it’s a fumble, so it will be incomplete.

10:59- You are not American if you don’t want to see Rocky Balboa….i’m sorry. (Now whether that’s at the movies or on dvd….that’s your choice.)

Of course it’s incomplete…..Joe 0-3 tonight.

“A source inside the Bears locker room told me that there were a few who thought that Brian Griese should be QB”- Michele Tafoya.

Yeah right Michele…..your source is Suzy Kolber prank calling you from home while she’s taking care of her “family issue”. (Out of marriage pregnancy)

Bears lineup to go for it on 4th and 1 in their own territory and they false start….

“Just run it. Just line up and run it. You play this game, but you’ve been blowing them off the ball. St. Louis gives up 150 a game…..just run it.”- JT

Holy shit…..JT and I agree for once. They should have gone for it.

10:09- Suspect call as Bruuuuuce catches a pass and is clearly NOT down as he slides out of bounds.

“He may be the most accurate thrower in the NFL today”- JT on Bulger……..Come on!!!! You just talk nonsense Joe.

Wilkins attempts a 54 yarder…….and no good. BJ is happy…..I’m happy……you’re happy. Join me for half numero dos won’t you?

“An hour ago the entire Bears sideline was pulling for Rex Grossman to succeed… Now there are sources in the Bears locker room who wanted Griese to start… Sideline reporters are so informative, even if the information is completely contradictory.”- Brian

A truerererer statement has not been said……

14-13 Bears at half. Take a break everyone.

Wait….Suzy Kolber is there. Sorry missed that one.

2nd half……AND WE’RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“First down for the Rams, and first downs always play huge in the Rams offense.”- MT

Really Mike???? Do you think!?!?!?!?!?!?!

10:35- Wow…..the Bears fans can travel. Moose on a first and the whole place goes up.

Mooooooooooooooooose! Again. Just throw to him everytime Rexy.

WOW! Don’t listen to me Lovie………Thomas Jones just destroys the Rams D, and racks up 54 yards on two plays.

21-13 Bears…..and on a more important note I’m one point away from advancing in the playoffs……I just fully jinxed BJ and I (the Bear). Sorry, couldn’t resist.

My favorite part about the ESPN broadcast is the music……in the last intro out of commercial they even comment on Nelly and Blues in the city, but on the outro to commercial they use RHCP “Give it Away” for the 15th time tonight. You know what happened….that was probably the only song they paid the rights for thinking Grossman would throw 7 picks this game. Come on ESPN.

So Freddie Adu got traded to Real Salt Lake City. I’m not going to pretend to know anything about soccer, but that seems like the smartest move in the history of sports. That kid is already playing in England….we just don’t know it.

10:48- Hester signals ridiculously late and scares the crap out of me. ALI RAP is B.S. No Mas…..I hated that doc and the commercials.

Wow….Berrian was all over Ty Hill on that play, and no call. I think I might have to thank BJ for whatever he did if this Gould thing works out for us. And no….not by a BJ you sick individual.

10:55- Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good lord that was a sick catch….and on top of that…..throw.

“So Brian Griese is probably not getting in tonight as a starter.”- TK
I know it’s late Tony, and I know what you meant, but seriously….the game’s already started. How would he get in as the starter?

28-13 Bears…..and with that point I win in the first round of Fantasy. BJ is hanging on by the skin of his teeth, so your prayers need to be with him now.

Tony makes some coal to diamond comparison of Rexy and my head started hurting. Something about sprinkling coal on the field????

11:00-Wait Marshall Faulk wants to come back????? Are you serious? Just give it up my man.

“It’s my personal opinion that Marshall Faulk will not be a Ram next year”- JT
Way to go out on a ledge Joe.

Damn……McKie just blasted Ty Hill…….and the jacked up comments come in.

“Wow that’s going to be on a poster somewhere.”- TK
Yeah Tony…..I’m running to the store to buy my Jason McKie poster you ass.

End of the 3rd……28-13 Bears.

“Good place to take a shot.”- JT, Thanks Joe…..I’ll do that.

Ty Hill just getting abused tonight…..I think that was iffy, but what the hell……..let’s get some more GOULET!

TD BEARS…..Adrian Peterson????? Okay Lovie….whatever, all I care about is the……..

GOULET!…….35-13 Bears

Oh and the photo???? Well I was trying for a Sexy Rexy photo and this is all I could get. But Liv……..anywhere you go…..I’ll follow you down.

“AA – since you mentioned the Chili Peppers, they’ve played that song at least five more times. ESPN is trying to piss you off.”- B-Rad

You have no idea Brian….you have no idea. I hate the Chilli Peps more than any other band. So f’ing overrate it makes Mike Vick sick (p.s.- that rhymed. I invented rap….just ask ALI)

11:22- Marc Bulger gets his head taken off and the Bears are just tee-ing off now.

“The Giants are a very good football team”- JT, I’m sorry, but no….they’re not.

Head hunting is in full force now as Bulger overthrows Bruce and the Safety just aims for Bruce’s dome instead of taking the easy pick.

“Torry Holt wasn’t looking…..Marc Bulger was”- JT
What????? How did he just catch that TD then? Ugh.

35-20…….still rockin’……who’s with me?

OH GOD! Devin Hester sets the NFL record with his 6th Return of the Year. Just insane……..steal and a frickin’ half. Who cares if he can’t play a lick of DB!

42-20. Da Bears.

“Who has more of an impact of on a team as a rookie than Devin Hester this year”- TK
“You have Colston and Hester”- JT

Okay you idiots…..I’ve had it with you. Seriously, you assholes portray yourselves as experts and analysts, but how do you even dare to skip the only two people that have a chance to win ROY

Okay I’ll give you a hint… of them had a 93 yard Kickoff return yesterday. No????

Okay…one had 86 yards rushing and a rushing TD……that WON THE GAME IN OVERTIME!!!!!!!!!

Okay shit……one had 166 yards rushing yesterday. NO?!?!?!?! You seriously don’t know?

Fuck, okay…..he had 3 touchdowns yesterday……


You are all worthless. How do you “watch” the NFL and not mention Maurice Jones-Drew and Vince Young…..the two clear front-runners. Just fucking worthless.

11:43-Sorry for the rant…….42-27 Bears. I hope Joe and Tony get to see the first Torry Holt TD where Devin Hester got burnt when he votes for the ROY

Onside attempt……..Mushin gets it, and on cue the St. Louis Bears’ Fans tell you who got the ball.

Goddamn….they even show MJDrew highlights and they say nothing.

I sense one more Robbie Goulet attempt…..and the Edward Jones Dome Crew plays some Britney Spears “Toxic”……ROCK!

BJ…’re up one right? Let’s finish this abomination of a fantasy week out with this photo….

Fuck…..sorry dude. I may have jinxed it there.

“Rise from the ashes and grab the lord.”- Matthew McConaughey

12:01- Tillman….no not that Tillman picks the ball off from Bulger and that about sums it up for the Rams.

So let the Grossman loving begin again…..until he fucks up in the playoffs.

Good night all! Thanks for showing up.


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