Chad Dukes-Ian Rapoport

Today in sports media meltdowns, we point you toward the nation’s capital, where CBS D.C. host Chad Dukes delivered an all-time great radio rant at the expense of’s Ian Rapoport.

The drama began during the fourth hour of Dukes’ daily show Monday, when the host brought on Rapoport to discuss NFL news. The interview was somewhat sleepy but generally uneventful, until about eight and a half minutes in, when Rapoport interrupted Dukes to announce, “I’m sorry, I have to take this phone call. I apologize.”

After a beat of silence, Dukes declared, “That is the last time we have that son of a bitch on this show, I swear to god.”

Dukes then explained that Rapoport’s sudden departure was actually his second time flaking on an interview that day. Apparently Dukes and Rapoport had attempted to tape a segment earlier in the day, but the reporter had put the phone down and failed to pick it back up. They had rescheduled for 5 p.m., a vital hour for a drive-time radio host, only to have Rapoport bail again, this time live.

Over the next 20 minutes, Dukes furiously unloaded on Rapoport, whom he called, “a complete and total disrespectful douche.” The fun starts around 8:45 and lasts until past the 30-minute mark.

We highly, highly recommend listening to the segment in full, but in case you can’t do that right now, here is a partial list of all the insults Dukes fired at Rapoport:

  • “Go eff yourself, dude. You get stuff wrong all the time, and everyone knows it.”
  • “What a piece of trash that guy is.”
  • “If you can’t commit to an interview, don’t do it, stupid. Twice you’ve boned me today. Twice. What a loser.”
  • “Your work ethic stinks. You professionalism stinks.”
  • “You gave a pitiful energy, you had no energy, your facts weren’t very good, and you were condescending.”
  • “What a trashy dude.”
  • “Dude, you’re not that famous. You don’t get to act that way. If that was Jack Nicholson on the phone I’d let that slide. You’re Ian Rapoport. You’re a nerd in a suit.”
  • “What an A-hole.”
  • “He just kicked me in the balls in the 5 o’clock hour. … I just got kicked in the nards by a zip zero stingy with dinero.”
  • “You suck, dude. And you’re going to hear this because someone’s going to send you the podcast, and I’m guessing you’re going to be mad at me. Take a look in the mirror. And realize, maybe if you worked on that professionalism you could be on La Canfora’s level or Schefter’s level or Peter King’s level or Jay Glazer’s level.”
  • Daniel Jeremiah knows more about football in his foreskin than you know about football in your whole body.”
  • “This piece of trash is now on Twitter saying ‘fake news.’ You got any other teenage-girl jargon you want to drop? How’s your fidget spinner, Ian Rapoport, you loser?”
  • “Why don’t you report on Kirk Cousins being traded to the Cleveland Browns some more?”
  • “The guy that does all the writing for our website, he pulled up 1,000 stories of you being wrong, you loser.”
  • “Congratulations douchebag, you’re a switchboard operator.”
  • “What was your crazy source you were going to report on? You just make it up half the time anyway. Allegedly.”
  • “You won’t call that hotline because I’ll shred your ass.”
  • “You don’t remember doing that four hours ago, clown shoe?”

After a while, Dukes began to take callers. The first promptly called Rapoport’s stunt, “the biggest douchebag move I have ever seen.” Another interrupted his call to say, “I’m sorry, I have to take this,” which Dukes, of course, found hilarious.

As all of this was going on, Rapoport (who had apparently been busy reporting that Jerry Jones’ “fine” was not actually a fine), defended himself on Twitter. Dukes, however, was not particularly having it.

As the Rapoport-bashing segment wound down, Dukes vowed to begin every show for the next calendar year by discussing what a “loser” Rapoport is, demanded an apology, and repeatedly invited the reporter to call his hotline. When a producer suggested the show attempt to get Rapoport on the line, Dukes shut him down, saying it was Rapoport who needed to call.

Addressing Rapoport one final time before finally moving on, Dukes said, “You’re a nerd in a suit who reads text messages for a living. And I wouldn’t fault you for it, but your professionalism leaves me wanting.”

About Alex Putterman

Alex is a writer and editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. He has written for The Atlantic, VICE Sports,, and more. He is a proud alum of Northwestern University and The Daily Northwestern. You can find him on Twitter @AlexPutterman.