As we count down the days to Vin Scully’s retirement, his stories and tales just seem so much more precious to hear. Whether it’s explaining “GOAT” or discussing the number 13 or Madison Bumgarner’s encounter with a rattlesnake, his time at the mic is a must listen.

During Saturday’s game between the Dodgers and the San Diego Padres, Scully discussed the history of beards. For five minutes! From anyone else, this would be tedious. With Vin, it’s marvelous and here’s just a partial transcript of his discussion (h/t Uproxx):

Way back to the dawn of humanity beards evolved, number one, because ladies liked them — and number two, it was the idea of frightening off adversaries and wild animals. In fact, it was so serious, if you look it up, that there’s a divine mandate for beards in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. There became a time when Greek dramatists mined the popular prejudice against clean-shaved men. Back then, clean-shaven men were looked at as being, effeminate. And then along came Alexander The Great, and that’s another story. Alexander The Great was not only great but he also thought he was the greatest looking man in the world, Oh, absolutely. Alexander The Great said there is no reason to cover up my beautiful face with a beard, and so all of the sudden, it started to disappear.

For more, we have the video courtesy of MLB.com:

No other broadcaster would dare to bring up Leviticus and Deuteronomy. We need one more season of Vin. He can’t retire on us. He just can’t.

[Uproxx]

About Ken Fang

Ken has been covering the sports media in earnest at his own site, Fang's Bites since May 2007 and at Awful Announcing since March 2013.

He provides a unique perspective having been an award-winning radio news reporter in Providence and having worked in local television.

Fang celebrates the four Boston Red Sox World Championships in the 21st Century, but continues to be a long-suffering Cleveland Browns fan.

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