While Rob Gronkowski and the New England Patriots are busy preparing for the playoffs, other people are busy using Gronk in fantasies other than PPR leagues and the such. Erotica novelist Lacey Noonan has written what I am sure is a novel whose quality aligns with Jameis Winston’s performance in the Rose Bowl. A Gronking to Remember (book ONE in a SERIES, if you can believe it) is described by Amazon as the following:
Leigh has a serious problem. And it’s driving a “spike” between her and her husband Dan.
When Leigh wanders into the room where her husband and his friends are watching a football game, her life changes forever, because at that exact moment, NFL’s one-man wrecking ball, Rob Gronkowski of the New England Patriots, scores a touchdown and does his patented “Gronk Spike”—his notorious monster smashing of a football. When the ball shoots into the stratosphere, Leigh’s heart goes apitter-patter and she becomes seriously turned on.
Now normally-sheepish Leigh can’t stop thinking about it. She’d never given a second thought to football, but now the primal power of the Gronk Spike, and this raw monster of a man, Rob Gronkowski, is all that she wants, and she’ll stop at nothing until the romance of a lifetime is hers!
Find out the lengths people will go to fulfill their fantasies in this super-sexy, sex-filled story of wanton lust with a super-sexy, sex-filled happy ending.
If you read one book about Rob Gronkowski this year, make it “Growing Up Gronk.” But if you read two books about Rob Gronkowski this year, make the second one “A Gronking to Remember!”
Bad football metaphors? Check. Awful plot? Check. Description cheesy enough to make me dry heave? Double check. The best thing about this book is the people who wrote the hilarious reviews. (The book currently has a 4.7 out of 5 stars rating if you can believe that.)
I’m honestly surprised that a thing like this exists, but I guess after someone pointed me in the direction of something even worse (Taken by the T-Rex), anything is possible.
[H/T @lana]
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