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What if sports broadcasters were Simpsons characters…

Earlier this week, Simpsons fans young and old freaked out over the announcement of the Simpsons World platform.  With FXX gaining syndication rights to the entire library of The Simpsons, now every episode, every piece of useless trivia, every Simpsons quote that you still use in daily conversation (“MY EYES, THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!”) will be at your fingertips.

It got us thinking… what if the residents of Springfield were recast as members of the sports media world?

We took some of the most prominent characters from The Simpsons and some of our favorite supporting cast members and imagined who their doppelganger in sports broadcasting might be.

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Chris Berman as Homer Simpson?  That’s an easy one.  But who gets to play the role of Ralph Wiggum?  What about Grandpa Simpson?  Or Kang and Kodos?  Grab a Krusty Burger with cheese and a Krusty partially-gelatinated non-dairy gum based beverage and enjoy!  And remember these are all (mostly) meant in good fun…

Homer Simpson – Chris Berman

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This is a slam dunk.  If there’s one person capable of playing Springfield’s lovable oaf of a main character, it’s Chris Berman.  After all, both of them have been using the same catchphrases for the last 25 years.

Marge Simpson – Tony Kornheiser

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For the role of Marge, our staff of diehard Simpsons fans tried to think of who would be the stabilizing, yet nagging influence in Homer’s life.  Given TK’s history with Chris Berman and the above picture we found in our archives, it was an easy choice.

Bart Simpson – Bill Simmons

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The rebellious star of the show who always seems to be in the middle of something and has free reign to speak out about whatever he pleases at any given time, Bill Simmons is Bart Simpson come to life. Plus, John Skipper makes a great Principal Skinner in this scenario.  As long as his real name isn’t Armin Tamzarian.  Also, Simmons’ running buddy Jalen Rose automatically becomes Milhouse.

Lisa Simpson – Sam Ponder

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Lisa Simpson is oftentimes the moral compass of the show and has the most redeeming qualities of any member of the Simpsons family. For those reasons, Sam Ponder is our pick because of the way she so gracefully and decisively deals with haters on Twitter.

Maggie Simpson – ????

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You try casting a baby whose catchphrase is the sound a pacifier makes.  The closest thing I could come up with was Jay Mariotti.

Grandpa Simpson – Hawk Harrelson

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There were a lot of old curmudgeonly types that were great candidates for Grandpa Simpson like Don Cherry and Tim McCarver.  But in the end, we went with White Sox announcer Hawk Harrelson because he’s the one sports media figure most likely to be photographed yelling at a cloud.  Probably because it didn’t possess the will to win.

Mr. Burns – Skip Bayless

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There’s only one person in sports broadcasting worthy of being cast as Springfield’s supervillain – First Take’s Skip Bayless.  While he’s often been compared to monorail salesman Lyle Lanley for the con game being played weekday morning’s on ESPN2, Bayless’ villainry in the sports world deserves a higher calling.  Because if there’s one person who would be willing to go as far as blocking out the sun for the cause of evil, it’s Bayless.

And it’s also a perfect fit because this makes his debate partner Stephen A. Smithers… AMIRIGHT?

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING: WHAT IF SPORTS BROADCASTERS WERE SIMPSONS CHARACTERS…

Matt Yoder

About Matt Yoder

Managing Editor of Awful Announcing and award winning sportswriter. Bloguin consigliere. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.

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