Adrian Peterson's mugshot

At the end of August, my oldest niece started first grade. Both her parents have PhD’s in physics, so I often joke that she’s already smarter than me, which is probably true. Right now, I must have the reading comprehension of an amoeba, because I had the misfortune of reading the column of a Dallas radio guy who is more than happy to justify child abuse for the sake of Adrian Peterson coming to the Cowboys.

Shan Shariff is spewing so much delusion, Lindsay Lohan can take the day off.

In his column for CBS Dallas, he writes such things as:

After receiving financial pressure from sponsors, the Minnesota Vikings reversed course Wednesday morning and banned Peterson from all football activities until his legal issues are resolved. This likely ends his 2014 season with court proceedings not expected for weeks, if not months.

If I’m Peterson, I’m PISSED at Vikings ownership.

You mean to tell me the Panthers, 49ers and Ravens ALL showed more loyalty to guys who did worse than me?  I froze my ass off while carrying your crappy franchise for 7 years and you turn your back like this? You know me well enough by now to know I’m not a child abuser. You not only know how I was raised, you KNOW the type of father and man I am, yet you still caved to public pressure rather than stand by my side while due process plays out.

Ummm, how exactly is this showing less loyalty than the Ravens cutting Ray Rice? Furthermore, Peterson gets to keep every penny of his 2014 salary, which is something obscene like $11 million. Also, are we now trying to put physical abuse into some kind of hierarchy of justification? Oh, it’s okay he beat his 4-year old son to the point of breaking the skin so long as the child didn’t lose consciousness because he’s given so many years to the Vikings?

But then, it gets even more disturbing:

Fortunately for the Cowboys (and any other team that may want him), Adrian Peterson’s earning power has taken a hit that even his switch beatings couldn’t produce.  He’s still the best back in football, but he’ll be 30-years old in March, and 30-something NFL RB’s have the lifespan of V. Stiviano. They’re an unnecessary, replaceable, dying breed that will keep Emmitt Smith’s rushing record forever intact.

But this is Adrian Peterson. He’s a freak of nature – who thanks to his suspension – will have one less year of wear and tear on his resume. Plus, there are always exceptions to the rule. Emmitt, Barry, Curtis Martin, Priest Holmes, Tiki Barber, Warrick Dunn and Frank Gore all got it done at age 30 or older.

Ummmm, so good job saying the hit to his earning power means your team can potentially get him for cheaper. Obviously, the Cowboys taking advantage of this situation is more important than the beating his son took. And you’re happy that Peterson can preserve his knees because he’s missing football thanks to child abuse allegations? #priorities.

And now Final Jeopardy – I’ll take Delusional People I Never Want to Meet for $Texas, Alex:

They are reportedly angry in Minnesota. They don’t view Peterson’s methods as a form of discipline. They view it as a form of abuse. The reaction is a mixture of outrage, anger and attack. The reaction HERE is a mixture of understanding, acceptance and debate. Adrian was raised in East Texas.

They just don’t understand AP like ‘we’ do.

‘We’ believe and practice corporal punishment. We got Whoopins, beatings, belts and switches administered like a bath at night. We agree and support your way of parenting Adrian. We get it, because it’s the way we grew up. Come back home and finish your HOF career here. We would welcome you with open arms like no one else in the country.

I LITERALLY CANNOT COMPREHEND THIS PERSON WHO IS JUSTIFYING THIS. But the well-being of Peterson’s 6+ children is unimportant to Shariff, because all he cares about is Adrian being a “freaking stud” and how that might help the Cowboys.

Another concerning thing to mention here is that CBS was even willing to publish this nonsense and is backing a writer who says a discount on a star running back is more important that the well-being of a 4-year old. Sure, there are cultural and regional issues at hand here that are complicated. But what Peterson admitted to doing crossed every line of decency.

[CBS Dallas]

About Reva Friedel

Reva is a staff writer for Awful Announcing and the AP Party. She lives in Orange County and roots for zero California teams.

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