Bill Simonson, a Detroit Red Wings writer for, is begging for you to feel sorry for his club. The Red Wings, a team the NHL has almost entirely based their future realignment around, is suddenly the overlooked squad in the league. The same team that will play in its second Winter Classic on New Year's Day 2014 before other noteworthy squads even play their first. The same team that has one of its own in Brendan Shanahan ruling over NHL discipline. The same team that has won the Stanley Cup 11 times is, according to Simonson, a team without national media love or attention from the NHL.

Simonson recently penned this article explaining why he thinks Justin Abdelkader's recent two-game suspension is unfair. Granted, we use the term "article" pretty loosely here. If you scan through his rant, you'll probably find yourself laughing at his delusions. We're not here to defend the NHL discipline system (it stinks), but we will point out a mockery of the written word when we see one.

Greg Wyshynski over at Puck Daddy already tore up Simonson's work, but we'll add a few thoughts of our own. 

Abdelkader's hit was a perfect example of what should be disciplined by the NHL. The NHL blows plenty of calls, but this one they got right due to the fact Abdelkader charges across the ice and propels himself upward to hit Anaheim's Toni Lydman in the head. 

We'll let you see the hit in question for yourself.

Bad hit. Two-game suspension. Unfortunately, someone chose to try and find a conspiracy theory in the ruling. 

Simonson claims that there is a conspiracy to push Anaheim deep into the playoffs because they reside in the NHL's second-largest media market. Yes, the NHL wants Anaheim, the team with some of the lowest attendance in the league (15,887 a game, 25th in the NHL) and one of the lowest evaluations by Forbes (21 of 30) to make it deeper than Hockeytown and their massive attendance (20,066 a game, 3rd in the NHL) and massive worth (6th in the NHL according to Forbes). It makes perfect sense that the NHL would love for Anaheim to make it deep into the playoffs after the massive ratings bomb they laid back in 2007 when they took home the Cup. 

Perhaps the biggest offense from Simonson in an article loaded with incorrect and ignorant comments is the way he treats his own fans. He claims Detroit fans can't name five stars in the league that aren't on Detroit's roster. You might as well just call them morons if you think a hockey fan can't name any other players in the NHL. 

How did Simonson respond when numerous writers and bloggers called him out for his garbage? Exactly like you'd expect a guy with a Twitter handle of "HugeShow" to react. He got mighty defensive.

Ah, Huge … why ya gotta be like that? You could at least have some snappy comebacks lined up that go beyond "living with your parents" jokes aimed at successful national writers with significant followings like Greg Wyshynski and Katie Baker. They work for these small, little engine that could companies called Yahoo and ESPN.

He also posted a response to his haters on his Facebook page, but we won't waste your time linking to it. You've suffered enough already.

About David Rogers

Editor for The Comeback and Contributing Editor for Awful Announcing. Lover of hockey, soccer and all things pop culture.