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The PBR Network

Booth #1

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Play by Play: Jim Nantz (Pick #3)
-Hello friends, with the third pick in the draft, the PBR Network selected the buttery-voiced Jim Nantz. Nantz can handle either PxP or studio host. He also can handle both hoop and golf coverage on my network in the offseason.

Analyst: Troy Aikman (Pick #19)
-The rings, the hair, the teeth… Troy Aikman has it all and he’s PBR’s top game analyst.

Booth #2

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Play by Play: Kevin Harlan (Pick #27)
-Kevin Harlan in the 2 spot on my PxP squad. He brings it on Sunday like Pacino at the end of Dog Day Afternoon. Whatever that means. Welcome to the PBR Network Kevin.

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Analyst: Charles Davis (Pick #30)
-Charles Davis is my second game analyst. Say it with me…UN-DER-RA-TED (clap, clap, clap clap clap). Great analyst who doesn’t go cliche and has a good time doing games. Can help out on draft coverage as well.

Studio

Host: Dan Patrick (Pick #6)

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-This may have been the easiest pick in PBR Network history. He’s quoted as saying…”I’m just happy to be here and I’ll take it one show at a time.”

Analyst #1: Jimmy Johnson (Pick #22)

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-The most important things to the PBR Network is Super Bowl rings and great hair. “This guy” has both. Jimmy Johnson will be in studio with DP.

Analyst #2: Howie Long (Pick #35)

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-He could beat you up with his jaw. Your wife would leave you to spend just five minutes with him. The PBR Network’s second studio analyst is Villanova legend Howie Long. Howie is good on Fox, Dan will make him even better with Jimmy Johnson in studio.

Reporter: Jay Glazer (Pick #11)

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-Jay Glazer, come on down. He breaks stories and necks, in that order. He’s built like Natrone Means. When the games are over, the PBR Network needs a killer as its main NFL reporter. We now have one.

Wild Card: Mike Florio (Pick #14)

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-With the 4th pick for the PBR Network we selected Mike Florio and his website profootballtalk.com. He can work with DP in studio, during the week as an info man and year round with his website. Plus… good hair. Booyah!

Network Philosophy

The PBR network is about versatility. With Nantz, Patrick, Florio, Glazer, etc. we have guys who can work on TV/Radio/Print and social media. With our analysts, Aikman, Jimmy Johnson and Long have Super Bowl/Hall of Fame credibility while the underrated Charles Davis is a former college player who can cover both pro, college and the draft for the network.  Kevin Harlan doesn’t get the Michaels/Buck/Nantz billing, but he brings great energy and creativity to calling a game. And if all this goes south, this network will give you free beer.

The MOB (John Ourand, Sports Business Journal)

Deitsch Broadcasting Company (Richard Deitsch, Sports Illustrated)

The AABC (Matt Yoder, Awful Announcing)

Full Draft Results

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Matt Yoder

About Matt Yoder

Managing Editor of Awful Announcing and award winning sportswriter. Bloguin consigliere. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.

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