Ray’s World: Osasuna upsets Barcelona

raysworldLike a kid at Christmas time, I’m overjoyed each week to find a new Youtube video documenting the latest Gol TV telecast and the commentary of one Ray Hudson.  Ray’s announcing is so unique and magisterial that he deserves a themed post (and the lame extent of my crappy photoshopping skills)… also the fact that Ray is an announcer that lives on another planet at times helps too.  Just this year he’s offered up gems like “brilliance on steroids,” “like Dracula onto a plate of liver,” and “Warp speed, Doctor Spock!!” Therefore, welcome to Ray’s World, where you never know what to expect.  It’s kind of like Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, except actually worth your time.  As always, we’ll have the highlight package from the game and the transcript of Ray’s goal calls.  This week, Barcelona and Osasuna take a trip into Ray’s World…

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1-0 Lekic (:12)

“Wonderful from the Serbian international, but again Barcelona hesitant and this underdog comes out and shows its big fangs.  It’s a lovely ball through to Lekic who makes no mistake, there’s no chance for Valdes this time.  It’s his defense that are caught napping.  And it started way deep with a bad giveaway early.

I’m tellin ya man, the conditions and the pitch and the attitude always feeds in to an underdog like this… The ball’s played into Garcia I believe, who knocks it onto Lekic, Phil.  But again, that’s quality buildup.  That little touch there sets the table and he is absolutely unhesitant.  Detonates it.  And absolutely sends a serious question now to FC Barcelona.”

2-0 Lekic (1:58)

“CATASTROPHE FOR BARCELONA AND AGAIN IT’S BIG LEKIC THAT COMES IN AND PUNCHES THE LUNGS OF BARCELONA WITH CLASS!!!  This is good football!  This isn’t down to the conditions, or the hard surface, or anything else.  This is focused football from a red team that’s knitting their team together with impressive style.  This is a quality goal again from the big #9…”

2-1 Alexis (4:50)

“It’s a magnificent finish from the Chilean international but it’s the stardust of Cuenca who is starting to turn this game!  Isaac Cuenca is absolutely brilliant, he’s been superb since he’s got in and he’s been stitchin beautifully and Roberto again is involved.  The kids come through for Barca, these beautiful babes.  Set away from Thiago is Isaac Cuenca and a lovely, considerate, triggered in ball.  Dani Alves goes over the top and I tell ya what, that’s not an easy finish although it looks it and the adams apple goes bonkers…”

3-1 Raul Garcia (5:42)

“Raul Garcia uses the upright as his kisshole point and again it’s quality football from the Reds.  Knitting it together.  Barcelona has one chance to get it out of dodge and they don’t take it.  This one needed to be whacked into the stands I believe when they had half a chance to clear the lines.  But again, the Reds capitalize beautifully.  Raul Garcia attacks this ball that’s triggered into him…”

3-2 Tello (8:04)

“Good BALLL… MAGNIFICENT FROM TELLO!… ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!… Cesc Fabregas has a lot to do with this, nicely finds Tello, but it’s all down to the kid.  Again, wonderful calmness and a killer touch on the kid with the cherub face…  There’s the release, he puts lovely, wonderful spin on this.  He puts Nino on his back like a turtle right there and then hammerblows it home into the only area he could get it through!”

Matt Yoder

About Matt Yoder

Managing Editor of Awful Announcing and award winning sportswriter. Bloguin consigliere. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.

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