Ray Hudson On Planetary Alignment, Dripping Honey, And Poker With Witches

Real Madrid and Barcelona played the second leg of their Copa del Rey Quarterfinal on Wednesday.  Barcelona went into the second leg at home leading Real Madrid 2-1 after their victory at the Bernabeu.  The match featured every highlight possible and the magisterial Ray Hudson of GolTV was there to call every goal, tackle, and irritated conference around the referee.  The fifteen minute highlight package below is a nice summary of the game and as always, we’ve transcribed Ray’s remarkable commentary for each goal below.  The latest selection features magnetism, the solar system, and dripping honey… somewhere Brent Musburger just made another Honey Badger pun.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=7hh-pjooSlc

 

1-0 Pedro

“Left open… MAGIC!!!… Well cut apart from the genius of Messi again, he draws the defense to him like a magnet.  And once more, Casillas’ men are playing poker with a witch.  They’re gonna lose.  Messi magisterial.  Pedro, that man I told ya about people, he’s a goal scorer and he’s a real talent.  Holds up beautifully and what a dispatch.  Fabulous by Messi, magic feet dripping honey on it with every touch and then he’s got the awareness, the dexterity, and that x-ray vision like Superman through steel to put it on an absolute scalding altar.  Again from this angle, again, the gazelle running around cheetahs, but look at that pass people.  It’s absolutely monumentally perfect.”

2-0 Dani Alves

“Does it the Brazilian way, which is nothing less than perfection.  And Dani Alves says look at this Kaka, look at this.  He absolutely flamethrows this in its top corner.  If Casillas is stretching out his arm to this and gets a hand to it, he would have had it taken off.  Look at the technique again, he takes the spin of the ball into account, he takes the planets in the solar system into account as well.  That is an impossible strike made easy from Dani Alves.”

2-1 Ronaldo

“Well that’s lit the blue touch paper for sure and gives them a real good set of hope here.  And who else is it?  I’ll give you 15 guesses and your first 15 don’t count.  Mesut Ozil takes it in stride beautifully, doesn’t even look for the pass, knows instinctively because he’s taken half a dozen pictures in his wonderful computer mind before he receives the ball.”

2-2 Benzema

“YAH!!  It’s that magnificent directness I was warning about… that’s wonderful coolness under pressure and grace.  Nice little stab ball over the top, beautiful little flick from Benz, and a nice finish tucked away nicely past Pinto.  WOW!!”

Matt Yoder

About Matt Yoder

Managing Editor of Awful Announcing and award winning sportswriter. Bloguin consigliere. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.

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