Dan Le Batard delivers hilarious Miami Heat championship rant

When LeBron decided to take “his talents to South Beach” a couple years ago, Dan Le Batard celebrated “LeBronakuh” with a classic rant on his radio show in Miami. Le Batard was more than happy to embrace the villain role and has gloated with similar rants usually after the Heat had closed out a playoff series. To no one’s surprise, a hopefully much more bundled up Le Batard was more than ready for one more bragging rant for when the Heat did finally win in the Finals. Here’s the audio, although you may want to make sure your speakers or headphones are turned down…

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Some of the highlights:

“WHAT’S MIAMI SAYING TO BILL SIMMONS RIGHT NOW? TELL US HOW OUR ASTERISK TASTES!”

“YOU (OKC) PUT YOUR OIL IN BARRELS, WE PUT OUR OIL ON WOMEN!”

“MIKE MILLER BROKE YOUR BACK! WITH A BROKEN BACK!”

“EDDY CURRY HAS MORE RINGS THAN BARKLEY”

“DOODLE JUMP! DOODLE JUMP!”

“PHIL… IPINO JACKSON! (Spoelstra)”

There was a lot to like here. I certainly didn’t want the Heat to win, but the music combined with the hoarse screaming voice make this a pretty classic bit of radio.

He also takes a couple of well-deserved shots at the absurd fickleness displayed by many in the sports media during these playoffs. The Heat were counted out by a multitude in the media many times during the playoffs, even though the only time they faced the threat of elimination was against the Celtics in the Eastern Conference Finals. Well, I guess that is to be expected when you have Skip and SAS providing their “analysis” courtside for much of the Finals.

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