Yesterday we announced Decision 2012, the biggest election in the history of the blogosphere.  Your chance to decide whether or not AA legend Craig James retains his place on our esteemed Mount Rushmore.  It won't be easy though.  Senator James will have to hold off three challengers, each one battling through a tough primary season to reach the final stage.  

The final primary stars the pundits and commentators that live to make you hate-watch them.  Arguments don't have to make sense to win ratings.  For each primary, you'll see a list of candidates, their credentials, platform for America, and a campaign video from their past that may influence your vote.

The Embrace Debate Party

"Why solve our country's problems when we can just argue incessantly about them?"

Candidate: Skip Bayless

Credentials: First Take troll, high school basketball icon

Platform: Tebow

Campaign Video: "What the hell is that?"

Candidate: Stephen A. Smith

Credentials: ESPN analyst (?), reporter (?), yeller (!)

Platform: LOUD NOISES!!!!!

Campaign Video: "This hurts me to say this."

Candidate: Rick Reilly

Credentials: ESPN columnist/burglar

Platform: Recycling.  And more recycling.

Campaign Video: "Outsmarted by Mike Golic"

Candidate: Colin Cowherd

Credentials: ESPN radio and SportsNation host, bloviator, lazy stereotyper

Platform: Sell the Midwest and any non-coastal land to France, deport all non-elites to Canada

Campaign Video: "You're bringing it on yourself."

Candidate: Rob Parker

Credentials: ESPN antagonizer, opponent of advanced statistics and logic

Platform: GET THE NERDS!!!!

Campaign Video: "A disgrace to the profession"

Candidate: Jason Whitlock

Credentials: Fox Sports columnist, purveyor of  terrible racial jokes, The Wire's #1 fan

Platform: The Wire

Campaign Video: "The Wire"

Candidate: Mike Francesa

Credentials: WFAN radio host, king of New York sports talk, curmudgeon

Platform: Make the more lax European vacation schedule mandatory for all employers.

Campaign Video: "Naptime"

Vote for your favorite candidate!

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.