patrickjames

AA’s Decision 2012 – “Back, Back, Back” Primary

Yesterday we announced Decision 2012, the biggest election in the history of the blogosphere!  Your chance to decide whether or not AA legend Craig James retains his place on our esteemed Mount Rushmore.  It won't be easy though.  Senator James will have to hold off three challengers, each one battling through a tough primary season to reach the final stage.  

The first of those primaries features a selection of AA's favorite play by play announcers from across the sports world.  These announcers are welcomed into your homes as the disinterested, confused, bombastic voices that bring you the sports you love.  For each primary, you'll see a list of candidates, their credentials, platform for America, and a campaign video from their past that may influence your vote.

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The Back, Back, Back Party

"Backward… because 'Forward' is already taken."

Candidate: Joe Buck

Credentials: NFL/MLB on Fox lead announcer, former late night host

Platform: Proudly bringing the country together with bipartisan loathing for the candidate.

Campaign Video: "That is a disgusting act!"

Candidate: Dick Stockton

Credentials: NFL on Fox, NBA/MLB on Turner play by play man, occasionally confused by names and numbers

Platform: There are over 300 million people in America. Dick Stockton will call each one by a wrong name.

Campaign Video: "David Rose"

Candidate: Hawk Harrelson

Credentials: White Sox announcer/cheerleader

Platform: Funnel every penny of the budget to Homeland Security to protect "the good guys"

Campaign Video: "You've gotta be bleepin me!"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-3Qlx_2OVV8

Candidate: Mike Patrick

Credentials: ESPN college football announcer, former partner of Craig James

Platform: Commit to asking random questions at inopportune times. 

Campaign Video: "Britney"

Candidate: Chris Berman

Credentials: ESPN cartoon character

Platform: Legalize "Deux, deux, deuxs", legally change George Bell's name to George "Taco" Bell

Campaign Video: "Jesus!"

Candidate: Jim Nantz

Credentials: Lead CBS announcer for everything for the rest of time, friend of the world

Platform: Peace & Puns

Campaign Video: "Best in Show"

Candidate: John Sterling

Credentials: Yankees radio play by play man since 1989

Platform: Fill his cabinet with ex-Yankees, send Alex Rodriguez to lead nuclear talks with Iran.

Campaign Video: "The Blooper Reel"

Vote for your favorite candidate!


Matt Yoder

About Matt Yoder

Managing Editor of Awful Announcing and award winning sportswriter. Bloguin consigliere. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.

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