Yesterday we announced Decision 2012, the biggest election in the history of the blogosphere! Your chance to decide whether or not AA legend Craig James retains his place on our esteemed Mount Rushmore. It won't be easy though. Senator James will have to hold off three challengers, each one battling through a tough primary season to reach the final stage.
The first of those primaries features a selection of AA's favorite play by play announcers from across the sports world. These announcers are welcomed into your homes as the disinterested, confused, bombastic voices that bring you the sports you love. For each primary, you'll see a list of candidates, their credentials, platform for America, and a campaign video from their past that may influence your vote.
The Back, Back, Back Party
"Backward… because 'Forward' is already taken."
Candidate: Joe Buck
Credentials: NFL/MLB on Fox lead announcer, former late night host
Platform: Proudly bringing the country together with bipartisan loathing for the candidate.
Campaign Video: "That is a disgusting act!"
Candidate: Dick Stockton
Credentials: NFL on Fox, NBA/MLB on Turner play by play man, occasionally confused by names and numbers
Platform: There are over 300 million people in America. Dick Stockton will call each one by a wrong name.
Campaign Video: "David Rose"
Candidate: Hawk Harrelson
Credentials: White Sox announcer/cheerleader
Platform: Funnel every penny of the budget to Homeland Security to protect "the good guys"
Campaign Video: "You've gotta be bleepin me!"
Candidate: Mike Patrick
Credentials: ESPN college football announcer, former partner of Craig James
Platform: Commit to asking random questions at inopportune times.
Campaign Video: "Britney"
Candidate: Chris Berman
Credentials: ESPN cartoon character
Platform: Legalize "Deux, deux, deuxs", legally change George Bell's name to George "Taco" Bell
Campaign Video: "Jesus!"
Candidate: Jim Nantz
Credentials: Lead CBS announcer for everything for the rest of time, friend of the world
Platform: Peace & Puns
Campaign Video: "Best in Show"
Candidate: John Sterling
Credentials: Yankees radio play by play man since 1989
Platform: Fill his cabinet with ex-Yankees, send Alex Rodriguez to lead nuclear talks with Iran.
Campaign Video: "The Blooper Reel"
Vote for your favorite candidate!