Monday Night Football analyst Jon Gruden “stimulates” the Straight Outta Stockton awards this week with his performance from the Saints blowout victory over the Giants in primetime.  Also exploding onto the scene this week is Bengals radio analyst Dave Lapham with a couple gems.  The envelope, please…

10) “Right cheek, left cheek, control all the way through.” –Brian Billick (via poundthehole)

9) “When he gets possession there, he doesn’t have possession.” – Chad Pennington (via bjo109)

8) “Ndamukong Suh is like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls” – Keyshawn Johnson (via LobShots)

7) “Hardly anything wrong can go bad.” – Phil Simms (via AA)

6) “I want to measure the large intestine of andy dalton because this kids got guts like ive never seen” – Dave Lapham (via rossmallaley)

5) “This is an incestuous night” – Mike Mayock (via TheLoadedOne)

4) “The 53 yard touchdown run by Beanie Wells leads to the 22 yard field goal.” –Terry Bradshaw (via sctvman)

3) “I don’t wanna sound like a cheerleader up here but way to go Brees! That’s awesome!” – Jon Gruden (via ConnorKiesel)

2) “If he completes the pass in the endzone, it’ll be a touchdown” – Dave Lapham (via kcurr0408)

1)  “Every day Brees comes to work, Payton stimulates him.” – Jon Gruden (via CaptTouchback)

Week 12 Top 5 –

1) Dick Stockton 54 pts

2) Phil Simms 45.5 pts

3) Jon Gruden 44 pts

4) Brian Billick 33 pts

5) Mike Tirico 28 pts

Others receiving votes – Chris Berman 15 pts, Dave Lapham 14 pts, Dan Dierdorf 13 pts, Joe Buck 11 pts, Cris Collinsworth 11 pts, Terry Bradshaw 10 pts, Scott Hanson 10 pts, Jim Nantz 10, Rich Gannon 9 pts, Dan Fouts 8.5 pts, Bob Griese 8.5 pts, Troy Aikman 8 pts, Dan Patrick 7 pts, Mike Mayock 6 pts, Jim Mora 6 pts, Daryl Johnston 5 pts, Tim Ryan 5 pts, Al Michaels 4.5, Bob Costas 4 pts, Warren Moon 3 pts, Marv Albert 3 pts, Keyshawn Johnson 3 pts, Chad Pennington 2 pts, Thom Brennaman 2 pts, Tony Siragusa 1 pt, Ron Jaworski 1 pt.

You can check out the Week 13 NFL announcing schedule here.

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.