The first slate of nominees for the Dick Stockton Chronicles, more affectionately known as Straight Outta Stockton is finally here!  To celebrate, NFL announcers around the country offered AA a smorgasboard of amusingly awful quotes.  Particularly impressive was one Brian Billick, who leads the pack with 3 nominees.  Dick Stockton, Jon Gruden, and Phil Simms also look like they will be among the frontrunners for the Dickies crown.

As to how the Straight Outta Stockton vote works, each week we’ll nominate 15-20 quotes for you to pick the best 10.  The winning quote of the week will earn that person 10 points all the way down to 1 point for 10th.  Remember, you can vote for your favorite five quotes.  Here are your Week 6 nominees…

1) “You’ve got a lot of beef up in there” – Brian Billick (via MatttheKuhn)

2) “There it is! Knee’s down! Wait, I don’t know.” – Phil Simms (via bjo109)

3) “There he is, lined up in the slot. Wait, no he’s not.” – Dick Stockton (via bjo109)

4) “Endonken Sue.” –Tony Siragusa (via SFOrangeMan)

5) “I’m just gonna guess it’s a run, you know why? I’m watching the left tackle… Oh I was wrong” – Phil Simms (via TheLoadedOne)

6) “This is the new Michael Westbrook, Brian Westbrook excuse me.” – Brian Billick (via BloggerJustinF) AGAIN calls Brian Westbrook Michael.

7) “Alex Smith steps up in the pocket and completely exposes himself” – Moose Johnston (via djstevem)

8) “This is a good place for a fake FG. Why not. I mean punt.” – Rich Gannon (via ConnorKeisel) when OAK is punting from near its own 40

9) “When a stat says ‘most in the’ NFL and it’s a positive stat thats an accomplishment.” –Dan Dierdorf (via AdamGeyer)

10) “A team that was 2-14 last season is now dancing for joy in Charlotte” – Dick Stockton (via JoshGrahamECU).  Dick, we’re still 1-4.

11) “Vick, he’s a little woozy right now. They are holding him up like a punch-drunk boxer.” – Brian Billick (via BloggerJustinF)

12) “Duh, winning!” – Bob Costas (via many people) quoting Charlie Sheen.

13) “Jay’s gonna unleash this one, trying to squeeze into that tight, little hole” – Cris Collinsworth (via gooner_)

14) “When you’re the Dolphins, and you’re winless, you need to win bad” – Jon Gruden (via kenosando)

15) “Lets Snooki our way back to the Jersey Shore” – Chris Berman (via JKoenAU)

16) “I needed a nickname for Revis so i went with ‘all of the time.’ Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” – Jon Gruden (via bjo109)

17) “If this was an election, he’d have all 10,000 votes.” – Al Michaels (via snelson66) Because we only have as many people as lakes in MN.

18) “The Lions undefeated season is over… for now” – Scott Hanson (via Real_DWM) uhh.. Scott, it’s over period.

Vote For Your Week 6 Dickies Nominees! (vote for up to five)


The winners will come Thursday morning so make sure you vote early and often and check back for the full NFL Week 7 announcing sked later this week!

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.