What you’re about to see is one of the most frightening segments I’ve ever seen on an NFL pregame show.  Not frightening in the sense that it has a Halloween theme and it’s actually scary… frightening in the sense that it is just plain awful.  This is so scary, it belongs in the last hour of the Today Show.  Former Jets DT Kris Jenkins, who’s been doing work with the NFL Today, welcomes children strategically dressed as NFL personalities to his “home.”  

I haven’t seen enough of him as an analyst to make a judgment one way or another, but there’s a reason he’s a football player instead of an actor.  His opening lines are delivered with the believability and passion of Joe Buck announcing a meeting at the mound.  And man, Kris Jenkins likes to say “man” a lot.  If he hates Tom Brady for taking his Super Bowl rings, why is there a picture of him in his house?

Why are three children, obviously already in costume, carrying around giant quarters?

Why does Dan Marino look like a young John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever?

Why can you actually comprehend what the child portraying Shannon Sharpe is saying?

Why does LeBron James show up?

Why is a child dressed as Tim Tebow also wearing a giant quarter?  And why is she spinning?

Who invited Urkel?

There are just a few of many questions that arise in this segment.  Watch if you dare, it’s a guaranteed spook.  Considering the inane, pointless quality of fake-laugh filled NFL pregame shows these days, this video goes above and beyond the call of duty.  Your move, Frank Caliendo.

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.