As if Jets coach Rex Ryan wasn’t starved for attention enough, we now have to deal with his enormously large wordhole in the offseason as well.  You see, evidently Rexy’s rants aren’t good enough for just the spoken tongue, no, Jets coach Rex Ryan has written a book!  Yay!  In case you’re wondering what the heck Rex Ryan would write a book about, it’s not about building a dynasty (like Bill Walsh).  It’s not about winning the Super Bowl (like Sean Payton).  It’s not supposed to be inspirational (like Tony Dungy).  It’s not even Ditka: An Autobiography.  We won’t exactly know what it is until the book is released next week.  However, it is titled Play Like You Mean It: Passion, Laughs, and Leadership In The World’s Most Beautiful Game.  

And, from the Amazon description, it looks like this book won’t be about championships (Rex hasn’t won any as a head coach) or inspiring people (unless it’s to go get a GD snack)… no, it’ll be about Rex Ryan saying obnoxious and tiresome things because that’s what Rex Ryan does.  Amazon’s description tries to frame it nicely…

Most of all, fans will get insider access to Ryan’s headline-grabbing, brutally honest, and undeniably entertaining views on the NFL . . . and the very human side of the larger-than-life athletes who devote their lives to the game of football. From Ryan’s acceptance of the Jets head coaching job to his success in turning around a team that has long been number two in New York, from his drafting and believing in Mark Sanchez to kicking off the 2010 season with massive expectations (and a target on his back)—this book goes deep, and entertains on every level.

Here’s what they mean to say: Rex Ryan is trying to make as much money as he can not from winning any championships, but from providing soundbytes.  Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself and the book will really be filled with golden words of wisdom by which to live an inspired, snack filled life.  Excuse me while I hold my breath…  

I want to reserve judgment, but if some of the excerpts represent the totality of what is actually in the book, I’m expecting more boorish and boring proclamations from a guy who is quickly turning into a street preacher nobody listens to.  Take a look at this lovely bit from the Wall Street Journal:

I know the Giants were in New York first and are considered part of the old guard. They had a lot of success when Bill Parcells was the coach and they recently won a Super Bowl (2007), so in a way they have had a much richer tradition than the Jets. They are based in East Rutherford, New Jersey, and the Jets were Long Island’s team, so lines had been drawn in the sand.

I am going to be honest, though. To me, it seems clear that right now we are the better team and we are going to remain the better team for the next 10 years. Whether you like or not, those are the facts, and that’s what is going to happen. I know it’s going to happen because our style of football is different. We are going to take over the town whether the Giants like it or not, so those fans on the fence that like both teams are going to be Jets fans in the end. The truth is, if I am going to watch one game, I am going to see the Jets, without a doubt. We are better.

A) Who cares if you’re better than the Giants.  You don’t get a trophy for having a better record than the Giants.  Win a championship.

B) You don’t “know” you’re going to be better for the next ten years and you’ll never “take over the town,” so stop it.

C) More people went to Giants games last year.  Fact. 

D) Again, who cares if you’re better than the Giants.

Additionally, Rex calls out everyone from Vernon Gholston (a “phony”) to Kerry Rhodes (a “selfish-ass guy,” what a scribe) to former players Eric Barton and Chris Baker (“negative guys”).  If I’m an NFL free agent, why would I want to go play for this guy who’s just going to rip me in his next tell-all book?  Everyone and their favorite nephew tore Dan Gilbert to shreds for ripping LeBron after he left Cleveland, saying that players would never willingly play for the man.  Why not in this case?  Is it some sort of prejudice against Comic Sans??  Maybe I just missed the parts in every other book about leadership when you trash guys after they leave town.  This book only feeds into the media love affair with Rex Ryan – someone that is always worth a headline, always worth a feature story, and always has something interesting to say.  Except, I’ve already lost interest.  Wake me when Rex Ryan does something that’s actually worth writing a book about.

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.