Saying the name M*tt Mi**en is about as offensive a thing as you can say in the state of Michigan. Simply the mere mention of his name will cause normally mild-mannered people to spew the most vile (and deserved) hatred they can fathom. M*tt Mi**en was a pox on the city of Detroit and its beloved football team. In his reign of terror, the Lions went 31-81 and ruined Sundays for everyone who bleeds the honolulu blue and silver for 7 bitter years.

Much like the excellent spoof Ben posted, here’s another fantastic one from Funny Or Die:

While the casting choices leave a little to be desired, sadly much of the content of this trailer is true. The Lions failed for 7 years, but never were they boring. Also, if you told someone from Detroit that M*tt Mi**en was getting advice from a kid, there is many that would believe that were true. I mean, this is a guy who called one of his players a “devout coward” and also had that ugly Johnnie Morton incident. Fans organized the “Mi**en Man March” and much of the entertainment (since none was to be had on the field) came from the outstanding “Fire Mi**en” phenomenon and the embarrassing attempts to silence rational thinking.

When the M*tt Mi**en era came to a merciful end, us Detroiters rejoiced that we were rid of the demon that haunted our weekends. Incredibly, after demonstrating his complete lack of football wherewithal he was hired as a football analyst. A football…analyst? WDIV in Detroit rightfully pointed out the lunacy in one of the most destructive scrolls you’ll ever see as he was offering his “expertise” on that year’s Super Bowl teams.

In sick and sadistic fashion, his focus is on football in the midwest (he called last weekends MSU/OSU game). ABC even had the gall to assign Mi**en to last years MSU/UM game and in a strange but not welcome twist (irrational hatred is the lifeblood of this and other great rivalries) actually united those wearing green and those wearing maize in their hatred of Mi**en.

Now that the Lions are 5-0 and likely to never lose ever again, I can somewhat laugh at the insanity of the Mi**en era. Anything M*tt Mi**en says should be taken with a shovel of salt and I sincerely hope he is assigned to cover beach volleyball so us Mi**en survivors will never have to see him again. Plus, he probably offers as much expertise in beach volleyball as he does in football.