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Arian Foster Is My New Favorite Player

This weekend, Arian Foster pulled his hamstring in a preseason game, re-aggrivating an injury from earlier in training camp.  While the injury didn’t look too serious, there’s obviously concern for not only the Texans… but fantasy owners of Foster as well.  In analyzing NFL injuries, the first direction news goes these days is the “fantasy impact.”  Go ahead and Google “Arian Foster injury.”  Nearly all of the articles have to deal with fantasy football.  I get fantasy football, I’ve played it before, but it just doesn’t hold anywhere near the same interest level for me as, ya know, real football.

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Well, evidently all those stories and people asking about Foster’s injury from the virtual perspective got to the Texans running back.  He took to Twitter to hit out about those people worried about their fantasy teams.  Actually, he referred to those people as “sick.”  While that may be a bit harsh, I can understand Arian Foster’s frustration – fantasy football has turned NFL players into numbers and fantasy points, as if the people behind the athletes weren’t distant enough to begin with.  But one certain sports media personality felt the need to call out Arian Foster and engage in a mini-Twitter feud.  You’ll never guess who it was…

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First off, I’m offended because I must have been the only person on planet earth Cowherd didn’t ask to co-sign his Tweet.  Even when Cowherd tries to make a joke, he comes off as a jerk.  Foster’s “did your dreams die with your humility” line is an instant classic – one of the best Tweets I’ve ever seen in a Twitter feud.  

My favorite part of this Twitter sequence though is Cowherd’s lame second response.  What does that Tweet about Wikipedia and poetry even mean?  Let me use a halfway sensical, random cultural analogy to analyze this as Cowherd would…

You know those annoying friends of yours that have to have the last word all the time.  No matter what you may say or how great a point you make, they always have to butt in at the end to get the last word.  Ha!  I mean come on!  These people will never let you win an argument.  You can just destroy this person, make all the sense in the world, and yet they’ll keep coming at you with stupid persistence.  (laughs obnoxiously)  Really!  These people are on the same rung of humanity as the serial one-upper – you know that guy?  Just disgusitng people.  Ahh… Trent Dilfer joins us next in The Herd…  

Arian Foster 1, Colin Cowherd 0.  I’m scoring this mini-Twitter feud as a 2nd Round knockout in favor of the Texans running back.  Now that’s a guy I want on my fantasy team.  
 

Matt Yoder

About Matt Yoder

Managing Editor of Awful Announcing and award winning sportswriter. Bloguin consigliere. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.

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