Everyone who thinks they’re empowering women by enforcing the stereotype that they are doomed to be naive, innocent victims their entire lives is sorely mistaken. Wake up, you’ve been asleep for a few decades.  It’s 2010.  No, there’s no food in pill form, maybe pills in food form; but women have sure come a long way.  They’re not that stupid, they’ve never been that stupid, and men can’t fool them into thinking they are anymore.

Sex sells, and everybody knows it. Why do you think every network has a female reporter on the field?  Because they’re intrinsically better journalists than every man trying to make it as a sideline reporter?  That’s completely ridiculous, and pretty sexist.  It’s because they’re all competing for the attention of the game’s MVP in that 30 seconds after the game when they’re walking off the field, as well as the attention of a primarily male audience watching at home.  And just by playing the odds, the first step you should take if you’re trying to get a man’s attention is to be a woman.  It is a biological, evolutionary fact.  Sexuality piques our interest.  If it didn’t, we wouldn’t propagate as a species, and we’d be, well, fucked (pun very much intended).  I’m not saying anything crazy here people – this has been the way of the world since the first amoeba decided binary fission was a little dull and discovered lipstick.  Ines Sainz is in the publicity business and looking purrdy is good for business.  Again, this is nothing new.  Just ask anyone who’s heard of Marilyn Monroe – or any talentless actress who has her visage tattooed on her body.

So how can my detracters watch the amount of American television that I know they do and then turn around and deny this fact? I have no answer to that question, because I haven’t been afforded one yet.  And by the way, have any of you ever watched Latin American TV?!  Sainz must have put up with 1000000x worse coming out of that world, which is probably why she chose to take the high road and act professionally when she heard players cat calling: ignore it, don’t respond, find my interview, do my job.  Well, here’s to you, Ines, for giving juvenile behavior the attention it’s due.

Now, for the benefit of those of you who don’t understand hyperbole/humor, let me strip those out of my first post and clear up what I said:
  1. There are plenty of women who are aware of this scientific truth and use it to advance their careers because it’s smart to do so.  IT WORKS.  Jebus, there’s a reason “Ines Sainz pictures” is yesterday’s #9 most Googled phrase and NOT A SINGLE PERSON HAS READ HER INTERVIEW WITH MARK SANCHEZ.  You can’t even find it if you wanted to.
  2. I’m tired of people implying that women are too dumb to play up their sexuality on purpose.  They’re not, and you’re not doing them or yourself any favors by pretending they are, although ironically, it seems to make you feel chivalrous for some reason.
  3. When you make a conscious choice to make sexuality a component of your public persona (read: anointing yourself the “Hottest Reporter in Mexico”), you can expect others to respond accordingly, even if that means “like jerks.”  Floyd Mayweather Jr. acts like a complete ass, and when haters be hatin’ (even if their shirt says LVPD), he just flashes that million dollar smile, because he sleeps in the bed he makes.  Likewise, a couple of days ago, I made a conscious choice to espouse what I knew would be an unpopular opinion, and let me assure you I’m more than equipped to deal with the repercussions.
Brian Powell said recently that he started this site to be an open forum where readers are free to bitch and moan to their heart’s content. So instead of doing it into space 140 characters at a time, do it here!  Come on into the comments and serve up a legitimate point to refute those 3 sentiments, because I haven’t heard a single one yet.  Just someone saying that my real job is Sandwich Artist.  But the joke’s on you, lady: I’m actually Subway’s mascot Hoagie the Hero! SO TAKE THAT!

Now let’s all enjoy a bit of comic relief courtesy of Mr. Dave Chapelle, then go talk about something else.


Follow Mike on Twitter @mickeyvee and read his ramblings on other topics at Wannabe Genius.