Too lazy to burn all your LeBron James gear this summer? Good. It really won’t make you feel any better anyway. You just sit there staring at the flames, crying softly. It’s pathetic. What you really want to do to is stock up on batteries for the return to Cleveland on December 2. That way you get to hurt the guy who hurt you, and everyone knows that’s the only way to make peace with the universe.
In all seriousness though, whether you plan to smite the guy or not, you might as well build up some good karma beforehand. Thanks to Cleveland Scene and the Miami New Times, you can take that blistering hatred in your black little heart and turn it into some goodwill by contributing LB23 gear to their “Wino and Gold LeBron Jersey Drive.”
Here’s our promise: Donate your stuff to The Wino and Gold LeBron Jersey Drive and we’ll personally make sure your formerly cherished items are given directly to a person of need in Miami. No, really. The good folks at Miami New Times will distribute the collection themselves. No joke, folks. We want your LeBron jerseys, shirts, sweatshirts, shoes — whatever you want to give up.
Just drop your stuff off at Scene’s offices (1468 W. 9th St., Suite 805, Cleveland, OH) by October 11, and we’ll get it down to Miami. The office is open 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. (If those hours are an issue or you’d like to ship your stuff, email me and we’ll figure something out: firstname.lastname@example.org).
It’s a great idea and a great cause: offset all the negative karma you’ve racked up egging his house and prank calling his poor mother by making a charitable donation. Oh yea and the people also desperately need the stuff on account of being homeless. DO IT.