The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Four


Week four is here and we’re ready to go with the PWCs. S2N is going to be your host and “Quote Master” for the day, so keep the comments coming early and often.

Your College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Three

“You have pads. It’s Football, it’s not playing patsies!”- Lou Holtz

“They were both strong and hard and played beneath their pads.”- Craig James

“He catches that pass10 out of ten times.”- Jesse Palmer
“Well, 10 out of 11 rather.”- Chris Fowler

“He needs a little more seasoning; a little more salt and pepper.” – Ray Bentley on an Iowa player.

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“Pitt in the all blue.” – Pam Ward
“Iowa’s looking like the Pittsburgh Steelers.” – Ray Bentley
“And Pitt like the Seahawks.” – Pam Ward

“You cannot have a quarterback on a yo-yo.” – Andre Ware

“He tried to slam it in there but he was a little bit behind.” – Ray Bentley (via Fairplay)

Ray is on a roll this morning, guys.

“We are coming to you from Heinz Stadium in Pittsburgh…” – Pam Ward

It’s Heinz Field, Pam.

“They need to saddle up that horse and ride him.” – Ray Bentley, on Iowa RB Shonn Greene

“You can’t bounce it, cause of the penetration…too much penetration.” – Rick Walker (via Gangsta D)

I expect that sort of thing to come from the Daves, not you, Rick Walker.

(after a 33 yard run on 2nd and 19)
“The D was in pass mode there. The LBs dropped in to coverage at the snap and ignored their run keys.” – Ray Bentley
(Replay shows both LBs come forward at the snap and are blocked).
“….” – Bentley (via Shake’n’Bake)

“Every tackle you make could be touchdown saving.” – Charles Davis (via Art McGregor)

“A smattering of boos from the Pitt offense…. I mean crowd.” – Pam Ward (via Ryan)

“You’re telling your kids you’ve come to win.” – Andre Ware (via SSReporters)

“That was the biggest understatement since General Custer said, ‘They look like friendly Indians.'” – Lou Holtz (via Gangsta D)

“He can throw those darts, the hard throws. It’s the ones that go in the air he has trouble with.” – Ray Bentley on Iowa’s Jake Christensen (via Smitty Lite)

“Ground Control to Major Tom…O’Brien.” – Dave Pasch on O’Brien’s military experience.

“That whistle’s a time out…actually, it’s the end of the quarter.” – Andre Ware

“I like that music they play on there.” – Ian Allen
“Well if there’s one thing I expect you to know about, it’s music.” – Matt Devlin (via Anon)

“He is more of a runner than a thrower.”- Shaun King, calling Akron-Army

Considering Army uses the traditional run-based option that is the probably the type of QB you want, Capt Obvious. – JG

And Mr. Bentley is a bit two-faced on 4th downs. Via Smitty Lite:

“I like that, you should go for it anytime you are in your opponent’s territory.” (Pitt at the Iowa 40)
“I don’t like that, if you are inside your opponent’s 40 you can do that, but I don’t like it here.” (Iowa on 4th at the Pitt 49)
“I don’t like that, you have points on the board with the FG.” (Iowa at the Pitt 20)

“I gotta tell ya, even with all that hair on it, that pig’s ear was good eatin’.” – Ray Bentley
“I expected a more manly bite from you, Ray.” – Pam Ward

“Rankings dont mean anything. People rank teams with their eyes closed.” – Rick Walker, on GT scoring 31 on Miss State when Top 10 Auburn scored only 3 last week. (via JG)

“He catches that pass ten out of ten times.”- Jesse Palmer
“Well, 10 out of 11 rather.”- Chris Fowler
Uproar of laughter.
“What is that, Canadian math?”- Jesse Palmer
“It must be the altitude.”- Craig James (via Tyler)

“Is this going to be a case of winning one for the Gimper?” – Tim Brando on ND-Michigan State.

“They chased the defensive linebackers.” – Gary Danielson (via SSReporters)

“You’re right; it was Janoris Jackson; I’m so used to seeing #28 (Major Wright) make those hits.” – Gary Danielson
“That was Janoris Jenkins, not Jackson.” – Verne Lundquist

Also, according to Florida’s roster, Major Wright is #21.

“You talk to people about this Mia…er, Florida defense; kind of reminds you of the old Miami defense.” – Gary Danielson

Arizona comes and just bites you like a crazy cobra, like a crazy snake in the desert. – Petros Papadakis (via mreleganza)

“We were all worried that nothing good was going to happen for Florida.” – Gary Danielson (via Anon)

“Tennessee needs to arrest this problem immediately.” – Gary Danielson, after a fumble deep in Florida territory. That’ll be a change for the Vol progrma; things getting arrested instead of players.

“And Harvin gets keelhauled at the 30.” – Verne Lundquist, deciding Talk Like a Pirate Day didn’t last long enough.

“Both teams are making mistakes. Florida’s making these itsy-bitsy little ones, and Tennessee is making huge, gigantic mistakes.” – Gary Danielson

“Good to see Charlie smile. Well, they did win that game.” – Bob Griese
“He might have been on painkillers, too.” – Brad Nessler, responding to a clip of a giddy Charlie Weis at last week’s postgame presser. (Via Tas)

“Michigan’s only riverboat. They fit about 500 people on there and have a few wedding parties… they even had a divorce party once. I think I know who paid for the divorce, and it wasn’t the missus.” — Brad Nessler (via Tas)

MSU is deep in the ND red zone and is rushing Javon Ringer.

“They lost half a yard.” – Paul Maguire
“They can see the end zone better; they’ve backed up a bit.” – Brad Nessler
“Um, OK…” – Maguire

“Running backs and quarterbacks, get whatever six pack you can get a hold of, and sit in the ice tub, cause that’s gonna be sore.” – Maguire, after Brian Long whacks Jimmy Clausen during a pass play.

“On every play you have determinators and terminators.” – Glen Parker on Utah / Air Force (via JG)

“3rd and 17.” – Gary Danielson
“How do you like your odds?” – Verne Lundquist
“Not good, unless Peyton decides to drop in under center.” – Danielson

That’s just mean, Gary. Don’t mock the already suffering Tennessee fans like that.

“They pat him on the head. Unfortunately, he’s short. They can’t pat him anywhere else.” – Paul Maguire, on Javon Ringer (via Tas)

“The song remains the same for Butch Davis: good young talent up front.” – David Norrie
“Love when you work Zeppelin into a broadcast.” – Terry Gannon

“You make me snort!” – Lundquist to Danielson (via Fairplay)

“These goalposts are unlike any others in all of college football because they have two uprights.”- Bob Davie (Via Bazooka)

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