The Ben did a music video with a Pittsburgh country band called the PovertyNeck Hillbillies, which is where that photo comes from. Safe to say he’s not walking away with the girl tonight unless some miracle happens, but he can at least take solace in his ability to drink like a champion.
“I’m mopping up here like Ben Roethlisberger is gonna be mopping up if he doesn’t quit throwing interceptions here pretty soon.” – Cris Collinsworth (via False Rumour Monger)
Jags take the kickoff out to the 32 to start the second half. Taylor burrows for 2 yards. Oooh, a rare occurrence — Garrard is picked off! — he’d only thrown three picks the whole season. Dumptruck gets stuffed. The Ben throws to Miller for a first down. Russell rushes to the 30. Ben to Holmes at the 16 for a first down. Dumptruck gets stood up again. Holmes gets smacked on the screen pass. Tomlin has covered up the fro with a cap now. Ben throws the checkdown to Dumptruck, and it’s short of the first. The Naked Kicker will be on for a FG try, and it’s good. 21-10, Jags.
Jags start at their own 18. Rush up to the 25. Garrard rushes for a 1st on a 3rd down. Another short rush on first down, and Garrard gets sacked on 2nd down. Garrard throws out for a first down on the next play, and the Jags are making a serious drive into Pitt territory — another catch, they’re now at the 15 — and MoJo Drew just waltzes into the end zone on the rush. Scobee’s kick is up and good, 28-10.
“They’re going to have at least one penetrator on every play” -JM (via Smitty Lite)
That Emmitt Just For Men ad – no words to describe how dull that was. At least in the past the ads with Keith Fernandez and Clyde the Glide were funny.
The Ben starts on the 30 and tosses it over to Heath Miller. 2nd down at the 50, short rush for Russell. The Ben hits his MVB inside the 40, flag on the play is declined. Russell rushes into the middle for a yard. False start moves the Steelers back five yards. The Ben is then sacked by Meier, and Tomlin’s got a decision to make about whether to go for it or punt.
(Apologies for inconsistency, folks. I’m handling this live-blog and talking with the maternal unit on the phone.)
4th and 12, and Ben throws it to Santonio — WHO GOES ALL THE WAY FOR THE SCORE!!! Naked Kicker comes on for the extra point — 28-17, Jags.
Jacksonville started just before its own 30, and Garrard threw a bad pass, and he just got mashed on third down. Yikes. The Steelers, dare I say it, are gaining momentum. Fair catch at the 31 yard line of Pittsburgh with 14 minutes left in the game. We’ve got something here. The Ben to the MVB out to the 43 yard line. MVB takes the screen pass out past midfield.
“He’s a wide receiver that plays like a linebacker. Sometimes, he plays like a nose tackle.” – Madden on Ward. The Ben is nearly picked again on a rifle shot, and it’s 3rd and 3. Converted via a pass to Ward yet again. Ben goes Sex Cannon for end zone, but it goes through Nate Washington’s hands. Heath Miller breaks a tackle after the catch for another first down. Dumptruck takes the ball up to the Jax 24. Cedric Wilson hauls in the next pass, and a little bit of pushing and shoving going on…Dumptruck drops the pass on 1st down. Fake on the next play, toss to Miller, and TOUCHDOWN, STEELERS. Two point conversion coming up. The MVB hauls in the fade route for the conversion, but there’s a flag — oops, it’s on Steelers center Sean Mahan!
“Ward for the touchdown!” – Al, on the two-point try. Oops. Thanks to all of you for catching that.
All of you talking about the weird audio, I got it too. It sounds like there’s some weird phone touch tones in the background.
The Ben rushes for end zone for the two point and comes up three yards short, starting from the 12. So, it’s 28-23, Jags.
“It’s the playoffs. You can tell.” – Al. Of course we can. I’m still trying to figure out where that hold was that Sean Mahan committed. Seriously.
Do you really think Eric Mangini would actually get NFL content on his phone? I don’t. The Jags are trying to get back to the rush, and it’s second and long right now — Garrard is picked off again, this time by Ike Taylor, and he takes it back to the Jacksonville 30 or so, where Garrard tackles him.
Ben throws to Wilson, Dumptruck rushes short of the first down. Ben gets the first on the QB sneak. Flag on the Jags.
Did you see that “Leinart-like” push that Ben got? – Mal
Yup, just like the Bush Push. Another toss complete, 2nd and goal at the one. Rollout pass by the Ben is incomplete. They’re gonna try and smash it in here. Another pass tipped, and a 4th down decision. I say kick the FG because your defense is hauling ass right now, you’ll get it back — but Tomlin’s going for it, and the pass to the MVB is incomplete — and pass interference is called on Jacksonville. Bullshit call. Ward had his hands all over the corner; even Dwyane Wade thinks the MVB got too much of the benefit of the doubt there.
New set of downs. Dumptruck rushes, one ref calls touchdown — and the other agrees. Go for two or kick? Two point try, and this one’s broken up. 29-28, Steelers.
The returner not named MoJo Drew for the Jags is tackled down at the 21, and let’s see what Garrard is made of now, with the clock on him and down by one point. Still a lot of clock to work with. False starts don’t help, and neither do drops by fullbacks like Greg Jones, who had a first down easy on that throw. Yeesh. Garrard hits Northcutt for a 1st down, and the penalty flag is for illegal contact on Pittsburgh. Taylor gets three, Garrard has to scramble and throw it away, and it’s 3rd and 7 — which Al just called 4th and 7.
“If they don’t get it on 4th and 7, they’re going to have to punt.” – Al. Nicely done. Garrard is sacked yet again on 3rd and 7, and the punter will come on out again.
Punt returned by Wilson to the 22. Dumptruck gets five yards on the carry. Stuffed on the next carry, and Del Rio calls time out.
That sound you hear is the massive gagging coming from the Jacksonville sideline. What a chokejob. – Anon
If Dirk Koetter is calling plays, this has got to be his last game. This is so reminiscent of ASU’s games where he failed to run the ball and kill the clock while the other team crept back in and won the game. – Steve
Damn, I thought this kind of collapse looked familiar. I forgot Dirk Koetter was employed. Why Jacksonville took another time out after the Ben came up short on the 3rd down rush, I don’t know. I think you save that one, but I’m not a coach.
Northcutt brings it back to the 49, and Garrard’s throw to Ernest Wilford is incomplete. Really? They want to waste their last time out on this challenge? This is going to backfire in Del Rio’s face.
Moron coaching staff wasn’t ready to call the next play. They forced themselves into risking their last time out by challenging. This is epic and it will not be mentioned. – Anon
That play stood, and Del Rio is a fucking idiot. Let this be known. You don’t waste your last timeout on a challenge like that. Garrard throws to Reggie Williams for a 3rd and 2. Marcedes Lewis drops the 3rd down pass, as Troy Polamalu rushes in on the safety blitz. GARRARD RUMBLES ALL THE WAY TO THE 12! He churned those legs that Madden loves so much for about 30 yards. MoJo loses a couple yards on the next carry, and call me crazy, but this rushing for the FG strategy may bite again.
And speaking of FG strategies backfiring, they replay Romo’s fumbled snap from last year, right on cue. The next two MoJo rushes get the ball to the 2 yard line. Chip shot FG here, Jax takes the delay penalty to move it to the 7 yard line. Here’s Scobee’s try….it’s up….AND IT’S GOOD. 31-29, Jags.
Can the Ben get it into FG range with 37 seconds left and no time outs?
“The ball starts when Pittsburgh touches it.” – AM (via Anon, who calls it the “GREATEST LINE EVER!”)
Dumptruck’s out to the 29 of Pitt with 29 seconds left. AND THE BEN GETS SUPLEXED ON THE SACK BY MCRAE! FUMBLE, AND JACKSONVILLE BALL! Garrard kneels, and the game’s over, 31-29, Jaguars!
I’d like to note that Andrea Kremer gave David Garrard the eyes she usually reserves for Tom Brady. Garrard’s all about it; he’s married to a blonde.
Fucking incredible game, people. Thanks for joining me. OMDQ will be live-blogging Giants-Bucs at 1 PM EDT tomorrow, and I’ll follow with Titans-Chargers. Come back tomorrow!