LSU wins the coss and defers, Notre Dame to receive the kickoff. Touchback. Your officials are from the Big Twelve, if you care about that sort of thing.

Notre Dame is moving the ball through the air, and Jeff Samardzija gets an incredibly stupid unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. He makes lemonade out of lemons on the next play, however, as he shakes a number of LSU defenders for a five yard gain on an otherwise snuffed out end-around.

I was just about to type the words, “if you’re a Notre Dame fan, you have to be slightly encouraged,” because even though the Irish were about to punt, they had discovered a few holes in the LSU defense. Then Charlie Weis called for a fake punt which was eaten alive by the LSU special teams on the Irish 30 yard line. While Albert and Long fawn over the guts of Charlie Weis, Terry Bradshaw, ever the voice of reason, says he wouldn’t have tried that from his own 30 yard line. JaMarcus Russell leads the offense onto the field, deep pass to the 3, handoff, touchdown LSU.

Notre Dame’s still going nowhere. Brady Quinn looks decidedly off so far. LSU is all over everything, and takes over at their 20 following an Irish punt. The Tigers are already out to midfield, and their band is playing “Eye Of The Tiger”. You know how I love the sweet sounds of Survivor. Terry Bradshaw is again talking about JaMarcus Russell’s height and weight. I want a cardboard cutout measuring chart of Russell, just to be sure.

A funny moment quickly follows as the announcers try to compare Russell to a pro quarterback. Terry jokingly compares himself to Joe Namath, Howie compares himself to Mean Joe Greene, and Terry asks Kenny Albert who he’d compare his work to, and without missing a beat, Kenny says “Randall Cunningham!”

Oh yeah, touchdown LSU. Russell fired a laser over a Notre Dame linebacker and in front of a defensive back to Dwayne Bowe, who was on a post pattern. After the kickoff, Quinn is sacked for a ten yard loss as LSU sniffs out another screen. That doesn’t stop the Irish, however, as they’re now approaching the LSU 35. I’m getting really creeped out by Howie’s and Terry’s discussions of length.

Notre Dame calls a sweet 3rd-and-short quick running play, and before you know it, Brady Quinn is lofting a nice pass to David Grimes for a touchdown. 14-7, LSU.

Someone’s band is playing “We Want The Funk”, and it makes me very happy. Early Doucet is injured on the ensuing kickoff, and JaMarcus Russell fumbles on LSU’s second play of the drive. Notre Dame falls on the ball at the LSU 21 yard line, and Howie immediately brings up Russell’s size, this time as a liability. Okay. Not creepy at all, Howie.

Anyway, it’s Officially A Ball Game as time runs out on the first quarter.