Not sure why I have ligers on the brain. I think Jeannie Zelasko is wearing the infamous Seinfeld puffy shirt. Almost immediately, Early Doucet is stripped of the ball along the sideline, and Notre Dame takes over deep in Liger, uh, Tiger territory. The refs are reviewing it, and for good reason — the Notre Dame defender doesn’t recover the ball in the field of play. Inexplicably, Les Miles has to use a coach’s challenge to contest the play. Isn’t every play automatically reviewed? Anyway, I’ll be shocked if the ball doesn’t go back to LSU, Early Doucet, and his weak-ass mohawk.
Les Miles wins the challenge, but tries to convince the Big Twelve refs to give his timeout and his challenge back. On the other sideline, Charlie Weis is also working the refs. There’s clearly blood in the water — the coaches feel the refs can be convinced that the sky is green at this point. I’m enjoying the sheer fright on the referee’s face every time he turns on his microphone. LSU’s driving, and now inside the Irish 25 with a third down looming. Russell is stuffed on a QB draw and LSU lines up for a 40-yard field goal, but OH, THOSE TRICKY TIGERS! It’s a short side holder-kicker option play for a successful fake field goal! One screen pass later and the Tigers are inside the 10, although they’re now facing 3rd and 2 at the Irish 8. Notre Dame holds — I’m not sure a slant pass to the end zone was the best call there — and LSU converts on a chip shot field goal attempt. 24-14, Tigers.
The Fox team repeats Charlie Weis’ nonsense about Brady Quinn becoming the third best NFL quarterback in three years. Charlie should know that defenses are also allowed to blitz in professional tackle football games.
Fox just ran a graphic of Notre Dame’s best quarterbacks. If there isn’t a Ron Powlus joke in the comments, I’m going to be greatly disappointed. Notre Dame fires off a crappy, back-bouncing punt, and it’s rock’em sock’em robot time. Also, the Little Tiny Mirrors girl is creepy in that “overpolished child actor” sort of way.
One of LSU’s players was a fifteen pound, fourteen ounce baby. My girlfriend and I contemplate how to fit a watermelon through a straw. We may or may not have had sex during the last LSU series, which ended in a field goal and a very unsatisfied girlfriend. You may not contemplate how to fit a straw through a tunnel. The scores are LSU 27, Notre Dame 14, and RUTS 1, Ms. RUTS 0.
And just as I hit the Blogger’s “Publish” button, JaMarcus Russell throws one of those “oh crap, he’s throwing the ball off his back foot” passes, but the ball kept sailing and sailing for 53 yards until it lands in the mitts of freshman Brandon LaFell for a 58 yard touchdown. LSU 34, Notre Dame 14, and that’s the end of the third quarter.
As a bonus, we’re approaching the blowout point where Kenny, Howie, and Terry have to just make shit up in order to avoid dead air. I love it when a plan comes together.