I missed most of the CAVS/Pistons game last night but apparently it was a Barn Barner (that’s what Chuck Barkley calls it). The late night game was a good one as Dallas managed to turn the ball over 3 times in the last 1:30, and blew a chance to take the series. The announcing in the second was actually pretty good. Marv “The Perv” Albert is always stellar and rarely makes mistakes, and Steve Kerr is actually a good color comentator. The only awful thing is seeing Ms. Reggie Miller (Cheryl) stalking the sidelines. She’s really not that bad and asks easy boring questions….unlike Jim Gray…..but I just can’t stand to look at her.
The highlight of the night was supposed to be one Kobe Bean Bryant (i’m not kidding that’s really his middle name) in Studio for the Halftime and Post Game shows on TNT. The Mamba was supposedly going to respond to Charles Barkley’s criticism of him in Game 7 of the Phoenix series. Just to recap Barkley called Kobe “selfish” for not shooting more in the second half (he had 3 shots 0 points). Apparently after the show Kobe and Barkley texted back and forth about the game.
Well the conversation was less than exciting. I would actually compare it to watching paint dry, but here’s an excerpt, “We had a strategy that worked very well for us in three games,” Bryant said. “We tried to keep the strategy going in Game 7, and the other games as well, but it didn’t work for us. But we’re out there to try and win, so to label me as being selfish is something I had to take up with Charles.” Chuck Barkley then said that the stategy obviously wasn’t working and they were done with it.
The good stuff started after all of the games were done and the highlights began. Apparently after the Cavs won Uber-Douche Anderson Varejao, in celebratory mode, popped his teammate Damon “I was the most worthless Free Agent Signing in the Offseason” Jones right in the grill. I couldn’t find a pic or video of the hit, but trust me it was hilarious. Damon Jones looked like he was going to cry. (Since I can’t find a photo please enjoy this shot of Guaran-Sheed instead.)
Well the best part was after TNT showed the highlight, and Ernie Johnson was taking them to commercial. Kenny “The Original Jet” (apparently Jason Terry likes to steal nicknames) starts to say that was a nice punch. Kobe jumps in and exclaims, “Hah, that was a nice sucker punch!” This is coming from the guy who was quoted as saying he’s the Black Mamba and he wants to kill everyone.
Side Note: I know Kyra Sedgwick is the wife of Kevin Bacon but can someone please get her a normal role in a normal movie? I was watching the 19,885th ad for the Closer and it got me thinking about movies that she was in. And I could only think of one….Secondhand Lions. Before you judge, watch the movie, it’s good. Anyways, I did some research, and in order here are her movies starting from 2000: Labor Pains, What’s Cooking, Hudson’s Law, Personal Velocity: Three Portraits, Door to Door, Just a Kiss, Behind the RedDoor, Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman, The Woodsman, Cavedweller, Something the Lord Made, and Loverboy. That’s Six Degrees of Crap right there.
So minus the Kobe comment, Damon Jones getting punched in the head, and Rasheed looking like a tard there really isn’t much to say. Oh besides this, which I will give the quote of the day nod to. Charles, Kenny, and Kobe were talking about players they knew they would have good games against. Good ole’ Chuck turned the question around and said, “Some guys I know I would kill, but you know who I could never play against? Popeye Jones” That is this handsome fellow right here, and a candidate for the Kurt Busch ear staple surgery.
Kobe actually makes a good host, but he’s way too serious. In fact he’s so serious I can’t take him seriously. At the end of the show he stated that the reason he’s changing his number from 8 to 24 because it was the first number he wore when he came over from Italy, and also because he wants to “Dominate, 24/7”. When he used the word Dominate all I could think about is that poor girl in Colorado and I well up and have to take deep breaths and go for a walk. Poor, Poor little girl. The Mamba has struckith again…..and will continue to do so……24/7.