Hell Freezes Over

(Does anyone get the pun in the title? Come on that’s good Comedy there.)


So Carolina has a Stanley Cup and Miami has a Larry O’Brien…….Wait do they? I couldn’t hear the trophy presentation over the boos for David Stern.

I’m going to bypass all of the official talk and go straight to the reason the MAVS lost…..they are Pussies.

Dirk does not have the killer instinct that Dwayne Wade has. With a little over seven minutes left in the game Dallas was in the penalty….Wait….I don’t think you heard that……DALLAS WAS IN THE PENALTY WITH SEVEN MINUTES LEFT TO GO IN THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!

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So what do they do????? They take three straight threes…..couple of possessions later Nowitzki gets in the lane and gets to the line to cut it back down to five. What do they do after that??? Take a jumper a possession it seems like to end the game!!!!! Seriously, who does that? What FAVORED team does that? WHAT TEAM WHO IS WAITING TO GET CALLS FROM OFFICIALS DOES THAT?!?!?!

(The only thing that kept my spirits up was Jason Kapono getting punched by Pat Riley….my goal in life is to find that video and watch it in a drunken haze for 10 days.)

With that being said here are my Announcing Highlights from our Championship Game 6:

“Again, six fouls and you’re out in the NBA.”- Mike Breen
Really, my retarded nephew knows that Mike. Let’s move on.

On a ridiculous pass from Dwayne to get Antoine Walker a three point play neither Commentator says anything.

“Dallas needs Dirk, Howard, and Terry to get going here, AND shoot a high percentage”- Hubie Brown
Really Hubes….you think they need to shoot a high percentage with under 5 minutes in the F’ing game down 4?!?!?!?!?!

Other Notes While Flipping to HBO 2 During Commercials:

1) You have to watch Sex Inspectors everytime it comes on! It’s a cross between Super Nanny, Real Sex, and Pimps Up Ho’s Down.
2) Airplane is close to being the funniest movie of all time.

MORE NOTES THAT CONTINUE TO DRIVE ME CRAZY!

The only guy I predicted would kill in this series finally got playing time. Marquis Daniels rocked Miami and DWade in the third and most of the fourth, but the German ruined his overall impact on this game.

F Bill Simmons for that sell out article…..his first in three weeks.

Shaq says he has four good years in him……I say two.

The Heat Played better in that Finals with Zo out there than Shaq.

DWade IS THE BEST PLAYER IN THE NBA….hands down.

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