Breaking Out the Old Pumps

As I was watching City Slam yesterday, before the Hockey Game started and during a Jeopardy Commercial, I was marveling at how bad of an announcer Dee Brown is for that show. The show is basically filler, and I don’t think I’ve seen more than 3 good dunks, but seriously how excited can you get for the ninth missed windmill dunk of a competition?

Combine Dee with the likes of Spud Webb, Kenny “Sky”Walker, and the Chocolate Thunder himself and you have a murderer’s row of announcing. For today I will only pick on Dee Brown because I found this gem of a comment on ESPN SportsNation.

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Matt (Chicago): Does Miami really have a realistic chance in winning? I mean, they were a shot or two away from being down 3-0.
Dee Brown: (4:11 PM ET ) I think as long as the Miami Heat have home games, they have a real good chance, because they have two of the top two players in the league. Shaq’s not huge, but he’s still a factor. As good as Dallas looks on paper, you still have to play the game, that’s what determines the outcomes of the games.

As good as Dallas looks on paper?!?!?! WTF games have you been watching Dee? Are you kidding me? Didn’t Dallas destroy Memphis? Didn’t they beat San Antonio in 7? And didn’t they take out the MVP of the league and his Suns?

Oh and the were up in this series 2-0!!!!!!!!!!!! (killed Miami the first two and should have won the last game)

I was almost over that statement when he proceeded to throw this nonsense out there for the world to enjoy.

Jared (Chandler): Who’s the favorites for next year’s Finals?
Dee Brown: (4:45 PM ET ) You always go with the team that wins the championship this year. But if Miami wins, I don’t know if they’re the favorite, too many questions. Phoenix will be there. In the East, Cleveland will get better if they get role players. But for favorites, in the West, I’ll go with San Antonio and in the East I’ll go with Miami.

So let me get this straight Dee….If Miami wins they aren’t the favorite in the East, but if they lose they are??? I say some stupid things, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t ever talk myself in circles in just one paragraph. It usually takes a good 20-30 minutes.

I was so riveted by these comments I scoured ESPN for old chats with Dee Brown….here are my top 5 comments.

5. Tim (Orange, CA)_: Hey Dee, what’s going on? If you could possess one skill from any player, what player’s skill would that be? Thanks Dee for answering my question
Dee Brown: That’s a tough one .. I think as far as a skill that can’t be taught, I would take the mental toughness of a Kevin Garnett or Ben Wallace. Nothing faces them. You can’t teach that. You can’t go to a gym to work on that.

(what exactly does “Nothing Faces Them” mean?)

4. JC (Folsom, CA): So is Deron Williams the next Jason Kidd?
Dee Brown: I think he’s close. He is a big point guard with great passing skills and a good leader. They say he is Jason Kidd with a jump shot. You don’t want to put the ”next” label on a young kid but he can be that type of player in the NBA.

(Great call on that one Dee)

3. Matt (NY): With larry brown on board any chance of the knicks picking up more defensive help. Because there is no way Jerome James can be depended upon for big time minutes.
Dee Brown: I think Brown will put the team in his image and try to harp on the current team to defend better. You will see some changes just because Brown is there. He wants to be a playoff caliber team QUICKLY.

(Uh Huh….keep those predictions coming DeCovan)

4. reggie (SB): if deron williams could be the next jason kidd, could chris paul be the next baron davis?
Dee Brown: I don’t think Chris Paul is big enough. He’s only about 6 feet tall. I would compare him to a less explosive Stephon Marbury.

(Wow….I don’t even know what to say to that one.)

1. Matt (NY): Dee, Just want to say thanks for addressing a Knicks question, its almost impossible to get someone to answer anything regarding the Knicks, unless they are bashing Steph for absolutely no reason, I mean yea the Knicks stunk but Steph was by far the most consistant player they had, I just dont get why everybody dislikes him, any thoughts?
Dee Brown: People always look at the fact that teams do better when he leaves. His stats are good, but until he carries a team past the first round and shows he’s a leader he will get that criticism. He is a top-5 PG, but until his teams start playing well in the postseason that is going to dog him.

(And there you have it…..Marbury is a top 5 Point Guard in this league. I give up.)

Honorable Mention for last night:

-“He looks like he missed when he was scrapping back towards the sack.”- O’s Announcer Fred Manfra on a close play at first.
-“Rammed it into Kevin Adams”- Whoever the lead Hockey Announcer that isn’t Bill Clement

What I’m watching tonight:

-Wheel of Fortune: It’s NBA Week and you can’t miss gems like Mike Bibby pulled out last night….

_ustling Outdoor Market
Hustling Outdoor Market- Mike Bibby
Bustling Outdoor Market- The Real Answer

-Game 4
-Making The Band 3…..Puffy is back and so is the unintentional comedy.

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