Back For More- Live Blog of the 77th Midsummer Classic

We’ll be back again tonight for an evening of live-blogging action on the 2006 MLB All-Star Game where Joe Buck and Tim McCarver will be on hand as our hosts from Pittsburgh. This promises to be a sure-fire laugher all the way through. See you a little before 8pm everyone.

(Ozzie gives the thumbs up to the live-blog….So should you!)

8:46- I’m in! Finally…..okay sorry about that. Since Fox can’t start a broadcast on time I missed one out. Jeter up and almost gets crushed by a Brad Penny pitch. 99mph on that one. You might say he’s “over-throwing”.

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“Unh Unh”- TM imitating Brad Penny. Thanks for that McCarver….thanks a lot.

Penny strikes out the side….screw it over throw. STAND UP!

8:56- Wow, live-blogging baseball is much slower than I thought. I’m just waiting to pounce on McCarver, but he’s given me nothing so far. They do have their Pirate stats prepared though…even breaking out a Van Slyke reference. No score after 1.

9:03- I was just wondering about Tonya from Real World/Road Rules Challenge(s). Has there ever been a bigger self-proclaimed whore in the history of television. And what ever happened to her debilitating liver disease?

Fox goes to an untelligible Sounds of the Game. I think it had to be bleeped out because David Wright was cursing again. Vladdy Homers. 1-0, so much for the perfect game Penny.

And the Wiggles provide the Homerun music……riiight Fox, riiiight.

“And Mr. Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes hits one at his Shoulders and hits it out”-JB, Here we go….I’m feeling it.

9:12- Wow! Now this is comedy. A Holiday Inn commercial where folks feel Joe Buck’s neck and make him talk. How many of the extras did they have to cut because they kept trying to choke him???? Anybody? Anybody? Moving on….

9:15- Uh oh….there’s action in the bullpen early. This can’t be a good sign for Penny.

“Not only is the guy a great player you can see with the smile on his face that this is a marketable young player”- JB, wow! like him much?

9:24- The AL taps into the bench with Ordonez coming to the plate. Real High scoring affair we have going here. Ken Rosenthal is in the crowd…..fake and bake Ken….fake and bake.

This sure is boring….Will from Deadspin sent me an email early….and I quote, “Have fun….If you CAN”…..I’m pretty sure he was trying to jinx me. DAMN YOU WILLIAM!!!!

Other viewing choices at the moment: Supernova- a show about a “Super Group” trying to find a new lead singer (think INXS but worse), and Last Comic Standing. On CBS and NBC.

9:34- Soriano is gunned out at home by Vernon Wells, and Beltran then scores on a Wild Pitch. Did I mention that I’m betting on this game? I figure I’d get it all out in the open before the crack down on the gamblers out there. Cover your tracks everyone…..cover your tracks.

9:40- Brandon Webb in for the NL…..here come the runs. Even when Tim McCarver is making sense I still hate him.

ARRIBA! ARRIBA! Such a great fitting tribute to Roberto Clemente Fox. Not racist in the least.

9:53- Joe Buck honors Roberto Clemente….shoot me. I love Roberto Clemente and his Autobiography is one of the best books I’ve ever read (even did a book report on it), but this is not the way to honor him. I bet you Bud thinks the standing O is for him.

“You guys having any fun tonight?”- JB, NOOOOOOOOOO!

10:02- Freddy Sanchez is in…..Yesssss. So is Arroyo. Or excuse me….Brandon Rice. “He can play guitar he can sing”- JB describing said Rice. “When your from Key West Florida you can do those both very well”- TMc , I think that was a Jimmy Buffet reference, but I’m not really sure….either way, good one Timmy.

I’ve got twenty that says Little Man overtakes Pirates this weekend….who’s on board?

“It is not easy constantly playing catchup when you’re scoring in an All Star Game”- JB, Yea it’s not easy in any situation, and it’s gay. I’m the guy that spills the beer on your scorecard JB.

10:13- So the roommate bring out the comment of the night. In a straight voice he says, “Sooo are the Orioles playing tonight?” (Maybe he should be writing this)

10:17- “Albert Pujols almost walked right into Jerek Jeter”- JB, Yea I’m being picky now but they’ve give me nothing tonight.

10:23- “The Question Mets fans are asking is What if we had Kazmir?”- JB, Yea I’m sure that’s what they’re asking sitting atop the NL East 10+ games.

Okay that catch by Gary Matthews Jr. was ridiculous (and he’s an ex Oriole)

10:30- Joe Buck just killed ESPNs trade deadline rumors with this quote “20 of the 30 teams in the Majors are within 6 games of the playoffs. That’s why come the trade deadline there won’t be that many moves” I think a hit was just called in.

“He got into a food fight when he was in High School”- David Wright’s Father, Wow I guess he hasn’t seen the photos of his son taking shots at 2am in NYC

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Tough play for Howard Sanchez….crawls into the web”- Timmy McCarver!!!

Oh thank my lucky stars…..who the hell is Howard Sanchez and the ball crawls into the web????

10:38- “I don’t think anyone squares up on the mound quite the way Santana does”- TMc, Umm What????

The Pepcid Complete Double Play……Sponsorship at its finest.

“Jam shot to 2nd”- JB, I’d give anything to get a jamshot these days….but I digress.

10:50- Harold Baines gives a kid a splintered bat…..can someone say lawsuit?

2-1? Really?????

10:53- Is Joe Buck really that popular? And how much did Holiday Inn waste to time these ads with the All Star Game? Did I mention I’m plotting to kill Joe Buck? THAT IS A DISGUSTING ACT!

The Roommate, “Nice hit Brian McCann…..more like Brian McCan’t!” The roommate is a Braves fan which makes this funny, but it’s really the only thing I’m laughing at now. That and the comments.

11:01- Ninth inning is almost over before I can post this. “Crowd starts to climb back in it”- JB, Suuuuure they do.

FELIPE LOPEZ!!!!!!!! is in the game.

MICHAEL YOUNG! And something actually happens in the game…..

Apparently no one has ever heard of the AL batting Champ before says Buck, and he delivers a two-run double…..on to the Bottom of the ninth, and I think I speak for all of us when I say…
“LET’S PLAY TWO!”

11:12- Mets fans everywhere cringe as Beltran legs that out…..I have a feeling Garner is trying to get him injured.

11:19- So thus ends the worst baseball game ever…….

Wow that ends a WONDERFUL night of “All-Star” Baseball. There was no Tim McCarver quote that could beat this quote, so I will leave you with it……

“Bobby Abreu is so good because he has the lightest grip with his left hand in the league. He grips the bat like a pianist.” – Timmy Mc

Repeat pianist over and over and tell me how much more funny that sentence sounds. As always thanks to the troopers (commenters) I appreciate it greatly. Good night, sorry for the technically difficulties, and thanks again for stopping by.

****UPDATE**** Fox has announced that they will have Baseball for the next 7 years….Fuck me. (Sorry Jamie)

****DOUBLE UPDATE**** Brandon Rice sings the outro for the ASG…..I’m going to go hang myself now.

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